Don't Compare Yourself To Anyone | Life Changing Speeches
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What does George Eliot's quote teach us?
George Eliot wrote, it's never too late to be who you might have been. See, you are a storyteller, a creator of narratives. And what you see when you look in the mirror are stories. Stories about your past. I am the type of person who does X, right? X being an accumulation of history, of things you've done, you used to do. And in theory, you know, there's truth to that.
How can we rewrite our narratives?
We are what we repeatedly do. But here's where it becomes a problem. When you confine yourself to that narrative, when you become stuck there, when you are unable to become something new because you're telling yourself, that's not who I am. Just because that was the narrative doesn't mean it always has to be. You can always pick up the pen and start writing a new chapter. I put on a green shirt last year, last month, every day last week. Therefore, I am someone who wears green shirts. Therefore, tomorrow, I must put on a green shirt. It's who I am. Seems a tad ridiculous, right? Until you change the example a little bit. You know, I was called out recently for saying, I am a runner trying to put on weight.
Building muscle in the past has been a challenge for me, right? Because I am a runner. And I was. I was running 7 to 10 miles a day. Well, now, in the present, the story's changed. I've essentially stopped running, at least distance running. I'm focusing on the gym. And in a group setting with my trainer there, I recently said, it's been challenging for me to put on weight as a runner. He looks up and he says, ah, limiting belief. You're still identifying yourself as what you were. And he's dead on. 100% right. That's an old story. I ran long distance for years. Had a quote-unquote distance-running body type for years. So what, therefore I'll continue to have a distance-running body composition, right? It's the exact same thing as the hypothetical green shirt.
Just because you were that doesn't mean you have to be that. Just because that's what you did doesn't mean it's how you must identify. No, it's time to flip the script. And when you start unpacking this idea, you know, it gets crazy quickly. Like you realize how many areas in our lives we create these limiting beliefs, how much we adhere to or shackle ourselves, tie ourselves to old narratives.
What limiting beliefs hold us back?
They're everywhere, right? I make $80,000 a year. I'm looking for a new job that pays about $80,000 a year. It's like, why 80? It's just as arbitrary as 25, which is just as arbitrary as 175. Like, why can't you aspire to be more? Why don't you feel deserving of more? And I'm not talking about snapping your fingers, right? There's no magic involved in this. It's very practical. It's when you decide something is what you deserve or something is what you're going to be, my friends, that's what you will get. You know, you have to decide you are worthy. You have to improve your worth. You have to see yourself as something different before the world will ever adhere to that or give you something new. You know what one of our greatest superpowers is?
The reminder that we can change, that we don't have to concede or accept anything. If it isn't adding value in some way, it can be changed, transformed, mitigated. I think the issue is that sometimes we just forget that we are the ones telling the story. I was reminiscing recently about 2013, 2014, commuting to work from Boston to Worcester with a friend of mine. And he didn't particularly love the job. And so on the commute, we would joke around every day. And I put joking in quotes because we were truly hoping for it. It's like wishing we'd get a flat tire or something would derail the commute. And, you know, as time goes on, hindsight's 20-20, you look back and you realize just how, like, weak and pathetic that is.
How can we change our self-perception?
Like, hoping for external circumstances to guide you where you most want to go because, you know, I won't speak for him, but me personally, I couldn't manufacture the courage to change, right? Not for a long time, at least. Because here's the deal. No one was forcing me at gunpoint to be there. I didn't have to do anything.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does George Eliot's quote teach us?
0:00–0:32
2
How can we rewrite our narratives?
0:32–2:52
3
What limiting beliefs hold us back?
2:52–4:39
4
How can we change our self-perception?
4:39–26:47
5
What does it mean to show up in life?
26:47–46:52
6
How do we confront our fears?
46:52–57:41
7
Why is personal agency our superpower?
57:41–1:04:05
8
What lessons can we learn from adversity?
1:04:05–2:16:45
Speakers
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