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ZM's Bree & Clint

Bree & Clint’s After Party - 8th May 2026

08 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What preparations are being made for the roast?

0.031 - 30.032 Bree

five six five six seven eight hey guys it's roast day we are sitting here a couple hours before the roast brie's just writing the thank you cards to all the comedians made up the goodie bags speeches are written are you doing any have you locked your speech off brie I think I've locked mine off. I think I'll just be fiddling now.

0

30.313 - 41.966 Clint

I was going to ask you, because I was asking you as we were walking over, how many words is yours? Because I wanted to know. 950. Okay, good, because I didn't want to go too long. Do you know what I mean? I want it to be the same.

0

41.986 - 49.495 Bree

Yeah, so I asked Google how long 950 words is, and it said between seven, it's about seven to eight minutes.

0

49.627 - 53.913 Clint

Mine, get this, seven to eight minutes. No way.

0

53.933 - 56.637 Bree

And we've allowed five minutes each, but I feel like it's our show.

56.998 - 60.083 Clint

Yeah, it's our bloody show. We do what we want.

60.103 - 65.531 Unknown

Yeah, we do what we want. We just need to be out 45 minutes after our end times. We're technically at 45 minutes spare.

65.871 - 67.393 Bree

Oh, what? I didn't know that.

Chapter 2: How do Bree and Clint feel about their speeches?

67.413 - 68.335 Bree

I thought we were hard times.

0

68.395 - 69.456 Clint

Oh, we're sweet then.

0

69.476 - 69.957 Bree

We're fucking sweet.

0

69.977 - 74.224 Clint

And if I want to cry in the middle of my speech, then I will cry.

0

74.284 - 77.929 Bree

We've got time for Brie to do her live performance of Driver's Licence.

78.398 - 84.588 Clint

Oh, my. I want to see that. I'll bring the backing track. I don't want to give the comedians more stuff to roast me about.

84.648 - 98.831 Bree

You know how we sold tickets to this and we managed to sell 400 tickets for $25? Yeah. It would be an interesting experiment to see how many tickets we could sell, even if they were only $5 a ticket, for just a performance of that.

99.332 - 99.853 Unknown

Driver's license.

99.873 - 105.081 Bree

So it's a black box theater. It's Brie in a microphone and she does driver's license from start to finish.

Chapter 3: What is the significance of the ticket sales for the roast?

183.604 - 183.965 Bree

Oh, yeah.

0

183.985 - 190.114 Unknown

While I'm doing something else. It's podcast form but on a video. I watched, do you know Good Hang with Amy Poehler?

0

190.094 - 193.117 Bree

Yes, great. I've only watched the clips, but it seems like a great podcast.

0

193.138 - 203.109 Unknown

Well, that's the first time I watched the full one with Billie Eilish that just came out, but I was sleeping and coming in and out. It was great. I did that this morning. I slept till 11. Poor sickie Ella.

0

203.129 - 205.572 Bree

You're super busy. Oh, you're sick, yeah.

205.592 - 206.733 Unknown

You're about to go in, eh?

207.835 - 209.617 Clint

Super busy day, Bella. Yeah.

209.717 - 212.46 Unknown

No, I've been under the pump. No, you have been.

212.48 - 216.585 Clint

Under the weather. You have been very under the weather, so we're very grateful that you're even here.

Chapter 4: Are there plans for a nationwide tour after the roast?

256.861 - 264.849 Bree

You shouldn't have to go to the couch. I would go to the couch if I was your partner. One, so I didn't get sick. And two, so I could stay well enough to look after you.

0

265.85 - 274.062 Clint

Guys. I've nearly had to go to the spare room last night. You're snoring. Sapphire's snoring.

0

274.123 - 275.468 Bree

Is she having to sleep on her back?

0

275.853 - 277.175 Clint

No, you're not meant to.

0

277.595 - 278.557 Bree

She has this pillow.

278.577 - 299.644 Clint

She has this pillow, right? And it's got this pillow here and then there's a space in the middle and you put it on the bed and then she has to lay on her side so she can't roll onto her back because apparently you shouldn't be sleeping on your back. You can't sleep on your back or your tummy. No, they say the best way to be sleeping is on... Only for nine months, though.

299.744 - 303.529 Clint

Sleeping on your left side is the best for the baby. Why?

303.89 - 303.97

Why?

304.304 - 304.825 Clint

On your left.

Chapter 5: What are the expectations for the roast performance?

306.627 - 307.188 Clint

Too bad.

0

307.829 - 309.391 Unknown

I go left and then right.

0

309.411 - 310.373 Bree

Claudia, you're not pregnant.

0

310.994 - 312.916 Unknown

I thought it was just because Sophia's pregnant I had to do that.

0

313.057 - 313.217 Bree

No.

314.559 - 315.921 Clint

You can sleep any way you want.

316.722 - 317.743 Unknown

Yes, I can.

317.763 - 321.268 Bree

Claudia prefers to hang from the rafters like a bat.

321.288 - 324.233 Unknown

She actually is. She's nocturnal.

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