Chapter 1: What emergency defecation stories are shared in this episode?
Show requested, so here it is. As long as you've got da-da-dada.
It's ZM's Brie and Clint podcast.
Could be an appropriately titled song for what we're talking about. Emergency number twos.
Yeah, a tennis player at Roland Garros, the tennis tournament, has made headlines after he had quite the emergency during set one of his opening match of the tournament.
Was it set one?
It was set one.
Oh, that sucks.
And he was behind too. And so the umpire was like, mate, you can't go.
You're cheating. You just want to go in for a rest.
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Chapter 2: What happened to the tennis player during his match?
Yeah, you want to throw the other guy off by, like, prolonging the match.
And then this French voice, he goes, no, no, I will shit myself.
He said, I think I'll shit on the court.
So we want to know, what was your number two emergency? This person wants to be anonymous, understandably. Hi, Anonymous. Hi, Anonymous.
Hello.
What happened? Tell us.
So I had met a new love interest. Oh, lovely. He invited me on a camping trip with him and his friends. Fun. But in order to get to the campsite, we had to canoe down a river. Okay. So... We're canoeing down the river and an emergency hits. Okay, got it. And I'm panicking because I'm like, I don't know what to do. No. You didn't canoe poo, did you? No, no. I barely made it to land. Oh.
And then I had to run and find a tree.
Yes. God, you weren't in a wetsuit, were you, Anonymous?
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Chapter 3: What was the camping trip emergency shared by the anonymous caller?
Yeah, not just strangers, someone that you were trying to romantically impress.
Did they know what was going on for you in that moment, Anonymous? I kind of, I mean, I told them that it was an emergency and that I had to go. And I was like, I don't know where, I don't know what to do.
I don't reckon I could tell them. I reckon I'd be too embarrassed, I'd be like... I just love nature and I have to go look at this tree. Nobody else come.
I'm telling you, everyone would know at that point.
I feel like everybody did know.
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Chapter 4: How did the anonymous caller handle their emergency situation?
It's funny. While I was waiting for you guys to talk to me, my child in the back seat going, Mommy, why didn't you take me on the camping trip? And did it work out, Anonymous? I'm sorry?
The romantic connection, did it last?
Oh, yeah, I was with the person for about five years, but not anymore.
Well, it worked out then after that.
Unless when they broke up with you five years later, they were like, it's because of what you did on the canoe trip. I was never truly able to move past it. We all knew what you were doing. Anonymous number two is here. Hi, anonymous number two. Hi, anonymous number two. That's very fitting for what we're talking about.
Hi, how are you?
Good. What was your anonymous number two emergency?
So me and my husband and his friend were out fishing and I really had to go and obviously there's no toilet on the boat. So I thought, right, you guys turn the other way. They didn't know what number I was doing, I didn't say. You guys turn the other way, I just need to go to the toilet. So I kind of sat over the boat a wee bit and I didn't think about what way the tide was going. Oh, anonymous.
And it kind of just floated straight past them. I was so embarrassed. Is this trauma for me? Is this trauma?
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Chapter 5: How did one listener's fishing trip lead to an embarrassing situation?
Later, us kids were playing Spotlight, and some of the boys thought there must be a wolf roaming around doing monster shits. It was me. A wolf! Whoa! There must be a wolf!
Ooh!
No human being could do that kind of thing. And that's how you saw in the new millennium. Yep. Wow.
What a time to be alive.