GI Joe

…He like staged the area to make it look like there was a struggle and everything. But after a thorough two-month investigation, police finally figure out that there were no mysterious men. G.I. Joe made it all up.…

…This time he makes sure to move his bulletproof vest out of the way. And bam, he succeeds. He unalives himself. And other officers have arrived on the scene and they investigate. And of course, they think these three mysterious men, two white guys and a black guy, that they unalived him and got away. Because that's what GI Joe wanted them to think.…

…And then he tells the dispatch that the suspects have run away toward the swamp and that he's gonna follow them and that they need to send backup. And so dispatch listens and they send some officers out his way. Then G.I. Joe, he takes his pew-pew and he points it at his chest and he fires. Bam! But the bullet is stopped by his bulletproof vest. Then he tri…