Aaron Doughty
speaker
216 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Aaron Doughty’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And I feel naive. These all these energies are also probably coming up. Because there may be some core abandonment wound there. There may be some core unresolved energy there from childhood or from other aspects of consciousness that maybe we weren't aware of. So in a way, you can look at that and you can, in a way, also, you could be grateful. Yeah. You could be. When you do the work.
Yeah. And even with what we were talking about earlier, because some of it might sound somewhat insensitive to certain people based on where they are in their process. Exactly. Yeah. But there is something to be said about allowing the space to feel sad, to feel anger, to feel whatever comes up.
And even in this process of like the betrayal thing, I've had moments where I felt betrayed by friends or certain situations. And what would happen is I did feel angry. And I was angry at them. Then I was angry at the pattern. Then I was angry at myself for allowing and being naive. And I went through this whole process.
But ultimately, that awareness led me to eventually being able to forgive and to accept. And when I owned that, and then I let go of the story, and I let go of that emotional charge by not getting high off the dopamine or the drama of it, that was when I was able to own it versus... the story of putting it outside of myself. See, they did this. They betrayed.
That's where we don't have to take responsibility for the pattern inside of our field, which is the only place that we have the ability to really shift any energy from. It's from our field. Yeah. That's why I think Ho'oponopono could be so powerful because what he says is that everything is data. Everything is information.
And out of the 11 to 15 million bits of information that are around us at any given moment, we can only perceive of about 100 bits per second of information. Now, what that means is based on what energy is active inside of your field, you are able to perceive of such a small sliver of that information.
So that's why people reflect back the patterns that are active or you bring new people into your life or certain people leave your life because that's the energy that's within your field. So – That's something I've gotten a very powerful benefit of, of being aware of my projections, being aware of how people relate, the kind of people I attract, but not just the people. What are the patterns?
Yeah, there's a million different versions of this, but it means you could evolve and then maybe have a relationship in a new way. Or maybe it's like you evolve, you appreciate the person, but you still move on. It's like there's so many different versions of it. It's about getting to the core of you and what the integrity and the values you choose to live by.
And as you do that, then you attract to you the people that resonate with that. Or you might have to set boundaries and say no to energy that you used to tolerate or used to rationalize.
Yeah, so first off, I found myself trapped in a cycle for years where I felt like I kept attracting people that were narcissistic and I was somebody as a kid that I believe as a survival mechanism. It's what I believe about empaths, first off. I believe a lot of times what happens for empaths or people that can feel other people's energies is at a sensitive level.
being an empath as well is like something that is a natural thing that can be very beneficial when it's in a certain proportion. But what we're talking about normally is somebody that feels other people's emotions so deeply that sometimes they abandon themselves or they find themselves sucked into this empath narcissist dynamic.
Well, what I believe happens earlier on in life is if it didn't feel safe as a kid to be in your natural energy, to have your own perspectives or to be in your own frame, well, What we may have done is we may have shifted our energy to then say that I must mitigate the tension in the family. In order to survive, I must tune to others.
So tuning to other people became a survival mechanism to say, am I safe? Am I okay? Whose tension do I need to mitigate? How can I make mom or dad happy or friends happy, etc.? And this, as an adult, will trickle out into people's lives if the pattern goes unlooked at. Now, what happens is empaths, people that can feel other people's energies, that have this ability that they've gained as a kid...
As an adult now, they might find themselves abandoning themselves for other people, hyperactively like tuned to other people, saying yes when they really want to say no and vice versa.
Not setting boundaries, kind of being a people pleaser and saying yes when it's like actually not even authentic to say yes. But it's a pattern that they learned to stay safe and to be worthy or it's who they believe they need to be in order to get by. Now, very often, what will happen is they may attract a narcissistic person into their life.
Now, a narcissist, or someone on the other side of the spectrum, what happens is a narcissist, in order for them to feel safe, there is a certain sense of perceived self that they project onto the world, and they feel like they have to live up to. So it's almost like a toxic,
frame of reality that's their sense of self even though it's a normally it'd be this toxic frame of reality it's still a strong frame and the difference is that the empath who has a somewhat weak frame because they're tuning to other people versus being in their own frame of reality will find themselves attracted to these people that have a very strong frame even though it's a toxic false sense of frame
So they find themselves attracted to these people. And then also it fits inside their dynamic as well because they feel like normally they can fix the empath. They can help the empath. Who else is going to hold space and help this empath? And they can kind of like see and resonate with their trauma in a certain way.
Now, on the other side of the spectrum, this is the way I can simplify the whole empath narcissist thing as a kid, is as a kid, the empath, their survival mechanism is I will tune up
my ability to feel so that i know how i need to be in order to get by it's like a safety strategy it's a safety strategy over like hyper vigilant looking at everybody else so that then i'm okay yes so that's a mechanism they built turn up the ability to feel now on the other side of that you get a narcissistic or controlling person and what they may have done in childhood is turned down their ability to feel other people's emotions because it was overwhelming in the childhood to feel emotions for both the empath and the narcissist
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