Abbie Chatfield

Um, and yeah,

It's just fucking awful.

And again, I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, not the media aspect, but the waking up and going, what the fuck is going to happen today?

And then I also think that I might have OCD.

This is another thing that I'm fucking looking into that I need to go to a clinic for.

But the issue is the other issue with mental health, God, sorry, this is a mental health podcast now.

But the other issue is that like,

I want to go to a new therapist, an additional therapist, like an OCD specialist, because I think that I have rumination OCD.

Which I've had conversations with some professionals about it in a non-professional context.

Yes, yes, comorbidity.

I think is the word, yes.

So I have like really bad need, a really bad need for like checking.

Like if I have a thought, for example, if I, what I've been doing the past few weeks, like what I've been doing is like, I have a thought that I, oh, someone, I think about a video that I made

18 months ago and I go, oh, I remember that thing that I said, they're going to take that wrong or someone's going to make a video about that or I'm going to see a stitch of someone calling me out about that or like a take that I've had four years ago that I think about and then I have to go and check TikTok and social media and I have to go and check and try, even though it's completely irrational that like,

A, the video that I'll be thinking about won't even be anything like particularly controversial.

But because of how the media has been treating me, I go how they're looking back a year plus.

What are they?

They're scrolling through to try and find something.

What are they going to find?

My brain then finds a quote unquote answer.