Abby Wambach

I'm sure you're a different person now.

I was so sad.

Like, I hadn't been sad about the whole thing.

But when I got that text and, like, sat with it for a minute, I –

felt really legitimately gross and depressed and sad.

And I think it's because I realized that I kind of thought that a magical thing would happen with the cancer, where it was like kind of this

God imposed speed bump where it would be like, okay, shitty news about that.

But the good news is that inevitably there will be some transformation of me where I will stop going from like a stressed out, super anxious, feeling like I need to get everything done person.

And there will be an automatic values realignment where I kind of like,

see what's important in life and realign myself accordingly, and then life will be different.

And when I got that text of the year anniversary, I was really unpleasantly surprised to do a quick review and realize that I had changed nothing about my life.

that i had like adjusted to the process and the surgeries and the got through that thanks to your help you guys and and everybody's support and then i had been like

Just jumped on the same treadmill, like, and just didn't make any changes at all.

Like not to my schedule, not to my expectations of myself, not to what I spent my time on, not to slowing down, nothing.

And I realized I was like, I am not going to ever change.

Like this is my life.

And if not this catalyzing a change, then like this is just the life I'm going to have.

Because I can't imagine something more dramatic happening that is going to cause me to reassess myself.

Like that was the highest goal is trying to do all the things.

And as long as I thought that that was the highest goal, I didn't know how to stop going for that.