Adam Lane Smith

speaker

1,798 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 22 Jun

Adam Lane Smith’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

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Passion Struck with John R. Miles · Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns | Adam Lane Smith - EP 782 · 18 Jun 2026 podcast

You're very correct in that.

I think that when you are terrified of relationships and you don't think that there's any hope and you're afraid to reach out and open up to other human beings, it is immensely attractive when gurus come along and tell you that all of your work should go internal, that you should sit alone in a room, read books, listen to podcasts, which I love, but that you should just do that for 40 years, that you should watch YouTube channels and just learn and endlessly focus inside yourself as a solitary being forever.

And at some point, you'll reach a magical level where you are so perfect, you are now ready to somehow have the most perfect relationship on the planet.

And in fact, now they're teaching the perfect partner will somehow simply appear at the perfect moment without any effort on your part whatsoever.

And you don't really need better friendships or better community.

Again, it's all internal.

So read more books, listen to more podcasts, meditate harder.

And then when you're 45, maybe think about starting a family.

That's what I'm hearing.

And it's catastrophic.

This is the opposite of how humans work.

This is in the old days what they used to call an aesthetic life.

This is monastic life.

You're teaching people to be a monk in a monastery or a temple.

That's what you're raising people to do now.

Nothing against that life if someone chooses that.

But telling young people that is the only pathway to being healthy or happy and that everything else will destroy them.

that they have to become a 45-year-old monk or nun before they'll be ready to even date one time or have one child.

I think that's a fundamental misunderstanding about how human biology and brains work.

I don't think that will ever make anybody really happy.

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