Adam Lane Smith

speaker

1,798 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 22 Jun

Adam Lane Smith’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

Passion Struck with John R. Miles · Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns | Adam Lane Smith - EP 782 · 18 Jun 2026 podcast

Or are we not in a system where people have the capacity to care for each other?

And there's different ways that we can split from that.

I think it was the novel Anna Karenina where she said at the beginning, the author says, happy families are all exactly the same, but each unhappy family is unhappy and unique in their own similar, in their own special way.

And that's what we're finding is you can have a lot of dysregulated families that map out to a lot of dysregulation, but there's only really one healthy pathway with variants, but one healthy pathway towards secure families that build real lasting connection.

We know that if a child does not get proper oxytocin bonding in childhood, that they don't feel a sense of belonging and safeness and closeness.

We know that can remap the brain in one of a couple of different ways.

One, it can underdevelop your prefrontal cortex so that you are chasing oxytocin and approval and belonging to then release GABA to suppress your cortisol.

This creates anxious attachment style for children where they feel not worthy and they feel like they have to people please to make other people like them enough

So people will make them feel safe with approval and attention.

A lot of women get this one, but increasingly men as well.

We know that if you get almost no oxytocin and high cortisol flood with low emotional intimacy or with high criticism, instead, you can go the other direction and say, I'm not the problem.

Other people are the problem and develop avoidant attachment style where you keep other people out.

Your oxytocin usually is very low.

Your GABA is usually very low.

So you have unregulated cortisol.

Your vasopressin is usually very low, meaning you don't bond with other people by solving problems with them because you don't solve problems with anyone.

You think other people make problems worse.

So then you don't shift into your parasympathetic rest and digest system.

So you also don't generate much serotonin, that neurotransmitter for contentment and fulfillment.

All that's really left out of those four being gone, there's two left that you can play with.

Showing 61–80 of 1,798 · page 4 of 90