Adam The Liar

So he has no clue what he's talking about because he's married.

He goes home to the same person every night and he will tell you that he does.

This is so dick.

does or did or would do yeah uh again this is not you're not telling anything about getting the girl from there to your house this is why i never got late i didn't get like a ton of action when i was single is because i would just turn off the lights before i left that's what i would do tv off lights off just like my dad taught me don't waste electricity there's people on earth who don't have electricity turn it off

And then I'd come in and flip on the lights.

Like, what else do you need to do?

I know.

It got lighter as you... The front door.

What is this, Disney World?

Are we on Pirates of the Caribbean or what's going on here?

I'm done.

That's why I have the Uber waiting outside.

If she hits the light switch, I say Uber's outside, baby.

Sorry I wasted your time.

If anybody in the audience is believing that this actually works, you're a fucking moron.

I don't know a single woman, and I know a lot of them, just like most of us do, who are way smarter than this.

Like, they are not looking to sleep with you based on the lighting in your apartment.

Right, right.

Your tiered lighting.

Yeah, your tiered lighting.