Chapter 1: What humorous advice does Adam The Liar give about dating?
I may not be a practicing hoe, but I'm a hoe in spirit.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
The guy said I live two and a half hours away from the bar. You know what I would say?
Did you set up your music?
Yeah, did you set up your music? You set up your music. You need to get some candles, put them in your car, light them up, get the music playing, keep the engine running. Have a condom tied to two little strings. When you open the door, you slide right into it.
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Chapter 2: How does the concept of QueefCoin fit into the conversation?
Pants down, condom on.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the CEO of Cash Management, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. You're doing a terrible job, by the way. Terrible job.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the Rorschach test in this episode?
Me? You're fired. Cash Management. Just slips right out of my fingers. It does. It's just a wild west of podcasting. Always chasing it, never getting it. There you go. How's it going? How's it going, everybody? Welcome back to the very... Well, I'll move on from that. I don't want to bitch and complain the whole episode. You know, you wake up in a mood sometimes.
Yeah.
I'm in a mood. I'm in a mood. I don't know why I'm in a mood. I'm just in a mood.
Well, let's be positive.
Probably has something to do with Amex calling me every 15 minutes.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of 'closing' in dating according to the hosts?
Mr. Green.
Mr. Green, you're 45 days late on your payment. Would you like to make a payment now? Well, you can press that button all you want.
pretty sure you're gonna get the same answer from the bank do you take do you take visa do you take queef coin do you take queef coin because i am rich in queef coin i've got three million queef coin in my in my fart wallet it's the safest place to put it it is yeah let me talk to your manager over there
You guys need to get on the sleep club.
Yes, this is Mr. Amex manager. How can I? You know what the problem is? My kids keep playing with my damn thing. Yes, they do. Now it's broken. Hello, there we go. Hello, this is the manager of American Express. How may I help you, Mr. Green?
Yeah, listen, I know I'm just a couple days late on that payment, but what I'd like to do is I'd like to offer you a limited opportunity to partner with my brand new NFT slash coin altcoin called QueefCoin. I'm sorry, did you say QueefCoin? I did. Don't be alarmed by the name. This is all the rage.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts describe the 'hazards' of dating?
Essentially, what you do is you take a real life Queef and you put it into your internet box and it comes out and it makes QueefCoin. I'm sorry, sir. We just take a check. You're missing out on an opportunity. What if you pay me $1,000 to talk about QueefCoin? How would you like unlimited inventory on the commercial break? Yes, we've heard about the commercial break.
I'm telling you what, we're going to pass for now. Call us back in a couple of years when you start getting paid on that show. You don't take QueefCoin? I said no to the QueefCoin. Okay, well, I'll call you back when I get some money. We would appreciate it. Thank you.
almost as valuable as dogecoin dogecoin i looked at it with chrissy and i were talking before the thing and i'm like i wonder what that dogecoin is that i go oh it's at 81 cents wow it really did well what i missed was the 0.081 cents it's actually eight cents is what it's at but bitcoin is doing well because a couple of days ago or a week ago however long it is i don't know the time it gets lost in this podcast i know it really does it really does we don't have like a normal nine to five schedule yeah
I don't even think, even though it seems like we work all the time. But whenever it was, the SEC, the Security and Exchange Commission, sent off a tweet. And the tweet said that they were going to approve regulations around some fund that had Bitcoin attached to it.
Yeah, I saw that.
A hedge fund around Bitcoin, I think is basically the premise of it.
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Chapter 6: What unique terminology do the hosts use to discuss dating?
And then they immediately had to put out a press release saying that they, in fact, did not do that. A hacker had done it. They had not put on two-factor authentication on their Twitter. So a hacker had gone in and made that announcement. They had no announcement to make around Bitcoin. Then the very next day, they send out the exact same tweet and said, this one's real. Never mind.
Are you sure? Are you sure? Really? Now get it. Now get it. This one's real. This one's real. And so the price of Bitcoin apparently is rising again. Surging. Because now finally they think there's some legitimacy. I do think that altcoin has its place somewhere. Decentralized banking has its place somewhere. Still don't believe in those NFTs.
Chapter 7: How do the hosts suggest preparing for a date night?
Still not buying into that bullshit. No. No. My new NFT collection. Queef. By Brian. By Brian. By Brian. It's going to be like those. What are those tests that they give you? The Warshack tests? It's just going to be a bunch of Warshack tests.
Ever taken a Warshak test? The ones with like the ink and the stuff? Yeah.
The blotted ink and stuff like that? I've taken a couple of those for various reasons, right? Mainly my mental stability.
Your psychiatrist recommended it.
And I always get really nervous that I'm going to say the wrong thing.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts have on dating advice and logistics?
It's really hard to say the first thing that comes to your mind.
I don't think there is a right or wrong. Isn't that right?
Well, if you say like, you know, dog with its head chopped off. Now we're going to get a violent tag on YouTube.
Yeah.
Well, nothing new there.
Nothing new there. But you say like a dog with its head chopped off.
Well, right.
Clearly there's a problem.
That's what I'm saying. I think it just provides insight into your brain.
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