Adrian Kaler

Because there's a lot of unlocks that are pretty quick and very rapid. And there's a lot of freedom for them.

Because there's a lot of unlocks that are pretty quick and very rapid. And there's a lot of freedom for them.

Wow. Well, this is a whole day long conversation because there's a lot here. You have 29 minutes.

Wow. Well, this is a whole day long conversation because there's a lot here. You have 29 minutes.

But you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm taking my time with where to begin. So you noticed even as you described it, a lot of it was fear. And that's OK. And it's, you know, because the question isn't how do I say what's true for me? The question is for the person naturally is how do I say it so they get what I mean? Yes. Right. And that's impossible.

But you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm taking my time with where to begin. So you noticed even as you described it, a lot of it was fear. And that's OK. And it's, you know, because the question isn't how do I say what's true for me? The question is for the person naturally is how do I say it so they get what I mean? Yes. Right. And that's impossible.

So the meaning of any conversation is in the listener, not in the speaker. We know that neurologically. The meaning of every communication is in the ears of the listener. So people do use this framework, though, to avoid conversations. Like, I don't know how to say this so that Susie hears it this way. And they use that to keep avoiding. And therefore, they are having the conversation with her.

So the meaning of any conversation is in the listener, not in the speaker. We know that neurologically. The meaning of every communication is in the ears of the listener. So people do use this framework, though, to avoid conversations. Like, I don't know how to say this so that Susie hears it this way. And they use that to keep avoiding. And therefore, they are having the conversation with her.

The conversation, though, is it's not worth the fight. That's the conversation they're having. You're so sensitive. This is the other conversation they're having. You're so sensitive, I can't say what I want. So it's condescension. You are so immature, we can't talk about it. That's what that's also saying. Now, I'm being a little bombastic maybe or dramatic, but it's pretty close to what's true.

The conversation, though, is it's not worth the fight. That's the conversation they're having. You're so sensitive. This is the other conversation they're having. You're so sensitive, I can't say what I want. So it's condescension. You are so immature, we can't talk about it. That's what that's also saying. Now, I'm being a little bombastic maybe or dramatic, but it's pretty close to what's true.

just to make the point. But that's also, so, you know, nature abhors a void, says Peterson, right? So if you don't say something, the conversation is still happening. It's just the one you say you want isn't happening. It's not the one you actually want because you actually do exactly what you really want.

just to make the point. But that's also, so, you know, nature abhors a void, says Peterson, right? So if you don't say something, the conversation is still happening. It's just the one you say you want isn't happening. It's not the one you actually want because you actually do exactly what you really want.

So not having it, avoiding it with all your 55 reasons why I can't, that's the conversation that's there. So I come at it from that premise. Um, so you, but you can't manage someone else's thoughts, but you can obviously influence them. I know that's your background as a sales guy, marketing guy is you do want to influence, but the best thing to do is to say, I, here's what I would advise.

So not having it, avoiding it with all your 55 reasons why I can't, that's the conversation that's there. So I come at it from that premise. Um, so you, but you can't manage someone else's thoughts, but you can obviously influence them. I know that's your background as a sales guy, marketing guy is you do want to influence, but the best thing to do is to say, I, here's what I would advise.

And here's what I tell myself is there's some things I need to talk about. I want to talk about, I think we need to talk about, I don't know how to say them and it's real slippery and there's landmines all over it in the culture. So can we tap dance for a while and give ourselves some grace? Because I want to kind of describe for you what I'm experiencing.

And here's what I tell myself is there's some things I need to talk about. I want to talk about, I think we need to talk about, I don't know how to say them and it's real slippery and there's landmines all over it in the culture. So can we tap dance for a while and give ourselves some grace? Because I want to kind of describe for you what I'm experiencing.

And I hope we have enough grace to really hear each other. So we're going to go real slowly, not because we're idiots, but because these are touchy subjects. and try to make sure we understand each other and really understand where each other is coming from in which is always the conversation people are having as well. Like we're listening to someone like I'm listening to you, Ryan.

And I hope we have enough grace to really hear each other. So we're going to go real slowly, not because we're idiots, but because these are touchy subjects. and try to make sure we understand each other and really understand where each other is coming from in which is always the conversation people are having as well. Like we're listening to someone like I'm listening to you, Ryan.

I'm going to be in, uh, also several other conversations at the same time. Do I like Ryan? Do I trust Ryan? Do I believe in, does he, is he here? Is he an enemy or a friend? Does he have my best interest at heart? Does he understand me? What's he think about me and all my insecurities are going to fly up.

I'm going to be in, uh, also several other conversations at the same time. Do I like Ryan? Do I trust Ryan? Do I believe in, does he, is he here? Is he an enemy or a friend? Does he have my best interest at heart? Does he understand me? What's he think about me and all my insecurities are going to fly up.