Adrian Kaler

They'll say, oh shit, three years. And I'll say, great, this is what you like. And they'll say, no, it's not. And I'll say, prove it to me. And they don't have an answer because they've tolerated it up until now. So there are payoffs to the dysfunction. Have I lost you? Are we good?

They'll say, oh shit, three years. And I'll say, great, this is what you like. And they'll say, no, it's not. And I'll say, prove it to me. And they don't have an answer because they've tolerated it up until now. So there are payoffs to the dysfunction. Have I lost you? Are we good?

So let me finish. I was just making sure. Sometimes I get too philosophical or too way out there and I lose people. So anyway, this is the type of rigorous honesty that someone must take on to transform. Transform is very distinct from making something better, if that makes sense. We don't want incremental change. We want to transform the thing.

So let me finish. I was just making sure. Sometimes I get too philosophical or too way out there and I lose people. So anyway, this is the type of rigorous honesty that someone must take on to transform. Transform is very distinct from making something better, if that makes sense. We don't want incremental change. We want to transform the thing.

So to transform it, the only thing that generates transformation is someone's willingness to take rigorous responsibility for current reality and to be willing to own that and still be hopeful and still be clear about what they're committed to, like the phoenix from the ashes type idea. Like, okay, it's that bad, and I can still choose tomorrow who I am right now. Like, choose for tomorrow.

So to transform it, the only thing that generates transformation is someone's willingness to take rigorous responsibility for current reality and to be willing to own that and still be hopeful and still be clear about what they're committed to, like the phoenix from the ashes type idea. Like, okay, it's that bad, and I can still choose tomorrow who I am right now. Like, choose for tomorrow.

Like, it will get better because I will transform. And a leader that stands up and does that can shift a whole room. There's a reason why they don't. And the reason why I don't at times, because I take guts and I have to be willing to die. Like figuratively and, you know, whatever, maybe financially, maybe I get fired, maybe blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, there's a lot of risk in there.

Like, it will get better because I will transform. And a leader that stands up and does that can shift a whole room. There's a reason why they don't. And the reason why I don't at times, because I take guts and I have to be willing to die. Like figuratively and, you know, whatever, maybe financially, maybe I get fired, maybe blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, there's a lot of risk in there.

But if you're willing to die, then you can, you know, it's like that bet. My dad's watching Band of Brothers here. I'm home for Thanksgiving. And there's a famous scene from Band of Brothers where the sergeant or the lieutenant, the good looking guy is. And he's in the foxhole with a new guy. And the new guy's like literally pissing his pants. You remember the scene?

But if you're willing to die, then you can, you know, it's like that bet. My dad's watching Band of Brothers here. I'm home for Thanksgiving. And there's a famous scene from Band of Brothers where the sergeant or the lieutenant, the good looking guy is. And he's in the foxhole with a new guy. And the new guy's like literally pissing his pants. You remember the scene?

And he says, oh, the problem is you haven't died yet. or something like that, like the guy already was ready to die. Therefore, he could go win the battle, that type of idea. So if you take personal rigorous honesty and do a real clear accounting and then open that up as a leader like, hey, guys, this is horrible. I know it's horrible. I know you guys hate each other.

And he says, oh, the problem is you haven't died yet. or something like that, like the guy already was ready to die. Therefore, he could go win the battle, that type of idea. So if you take personal rigorous honesty and do a real clear accounting and then open that up as a leader like, hey, guys, this is horrible. I know it's horrible. I know you guys hate each other.

I just did this in a meeting with a client like this, this clearly, this rigorously. I said to them, I said, Hey, if I'm involved, we're going to transform this culture. And some of you don't want the health you say you want. And you need to go back home and think about it. Because you're used to dysfunction. And health is going to require a lot more from you than the dysfunction has.

I just did this in a meeting with a client like this, this clearly, this rigorously. I said to them, I said, Hey, if I'm involved, we're going to transform this culture. And some of you don't want the health you say you want. And you need to go back home and think about it. Because you're used to dysfunction. And health is going to require a lot more from you than the dysfunction has.

And then they were like, you know, arguing with me for a while, but they got it at a deep level. And they were all nodding by the end like, Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna have to be honest. Now. I used to be able to hide and gossip. Now I have to be honest.

And then they were like, you know, arguing with me for a while, but they got it at a deep level. And they were all nodding by the end like, Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna have to be honest. Now. I used to be able to hide and gossip. Now I have to be honest.

So as a leader, if you're willing to do that, take rigorous honesty, have all the conversations you've been avoiding, set the standard moving forward for yourself first and then other people. And then you don't avoid anything moving forward. Like results are a manifestation of conversation always. So it all comes back to the conversational level.

So as a leader, if you're willing to do that, take rigorous honesty, have all the conversations you've been avoiding, set the standard moving forward for yourself first and then other people. And then you don't avoid anything moving forward. Like results are a manifestation of conversation always. So it all comes back to the conversational level.

And most leaders would rather not talk about the issues just because we're humans. And a lot because we're dudes. At least the guys struggle with this more than the women. The women are just better at it, trained. It's more socially acceptable to talk about relational stuff and emotional stuff for women. So there's some bigger climb for guys. But that's why I like working with alpha guys.

And most leaders would rather not talk about the issues just because we're humans. And a lot because we're dudes. At least the guys struggle with this more than the women. The women are just better at it, trained. It's more socially acceptable to talk about relational stuff and emotional stuff for women. So there's some bigger climb for guys. But that's why I like working with alpha guys.