Adrian Kaler

And, and as soon as you're honest about your deception, you're now an honest person. It's weird. Like, you know, so all that to say with the grace concept, um, Um, you know, I am what I'm committed to. I'm not what I've been. And that's tough because, you know, Freudian psychology is the opposite of that. Freud said, and everybody bid it hook, line and sinker that I am etiological.

And, and as soon as you're honest about your deception, you're now an honest person. It's weird. Like, you know, so all that to say with the grace concept, um, Um, you know, I am what I'm committed to. I'm not what I've been. And that's tough because, you know, Freudian psychology is the opposite of that. Freud said, and everybody bid it hook, line and sinker that I am etiological.

He called it right. I am the effect. My history is the cause. And that's just not true unless you want it to be true. If you want it to be true, it's 100% true. And I'm dysfunctional because my dad and my mom and where I grew up and the color of my skin and my so-and-so, blah, blah, blah. That can all be true for you if you want. But it's not true. It's just real for you.

He called it right. I am the effect. My history is the cause. And that's just not true unless you want it to be true. If you want it to be true, it's 100% true. And I'm dysfunctional because my dad and my mom and where I grew up and the color of my skin and my so-and-so, blah, blah, blah. That can all be true for you if you want. But it's not true. It's just real for you.

So grace is, even though all that is so, like that happened. I made those decisions. I'm not that person. For me, that's what grace is. I am forgiven. I forgive myself. I'm a God guy. And then whoever wanted to forgave me. If they didn't want to, God bless them. But I've forgiven myself. I don't need anybody else's forgiveness to forgive myself. That's what grace is.

So grace is, even though all that is so, like that happened. I made those decisions. I'm not that person. For me, that's what grace is. I am forgiven. I forgive myself. I'm a God guy. And then whoever wanted to forgave me. If they didn't want to, God bless them. But I've forgiven myself. I don't need anybody else's forgiveness to forgive myself. That's what grace is.

And I'll move forward and see those mistakes that I made, choices I made, as fuel for the future that I'm committed to. And I don't run from any of it. It's all real. So now, this is a, I'll start with, I'll start with how we deal with clients, because that was a question. There is a contextual part of this, like the view of self, and I won't, I could do five hours on this, but I'll do one minute.

And I'll move forward and see those mistakes that I made, choices I made, as fuel for the future that I'm committed to. And I don't run from any of it. It's all real. So now, this is a, I'll start with, I'll start with how we deal with clients, because that was a question. There is a contextual part of this, like the view of self, and I won't, I could do five hours on this, but I'll do one minute.

We actually use this leadership assessment tool that only 150 of us in the states have access to called the Harrison Assessment. I won't nerd out on it now, but there's reasons why we choose it. It talks about the self. It generates these paradoxes. So the self is a paradox. So we're all in a conversation about self-improvement and who I can be. We're all in that conversation.

We actually use this leadership assessment tool that only 150 of us in the states have access to called the Harrison Assessment. I won't nerd out on it now, but there's reasons why we choose it. It talks about the self. It generates these paradoxes. So the self is a paradox. So we're all in a conversation about self-improvement and who I can be. We're all in that conversation.

Even if it's I can be no one, that is the conversation. And then we're also in a conversation about self-acceptance. I'm okay where I am. We're in that. And those are a paradox. I'm OK where I am and I'm not going to stay here. I'm going to improve. That is always happening at the same time. Paradox.

Even if it's I can be no one, that is the conversation. And then we're also in a conversation about self-acceptance. I'm okay where I am. We're in that. And those are a paradox. I'm OK where I am and I'm not going to stay here. I'm going to improve. That is always happening at the same time. Paradox.

And if I'm really OK where I am and don't have any view of self-acceptance, you know, I'm ignorant and arrogant. because I'm good, and that's a dangerous person. If I'm probably like you, like me, like most high-striving people, really committed to self-improvement and lower on self-acceptance, I'm self-critical.

And if I'm really OK where I am and don't have any view of self-acceptance, you know, I'm ignorant and arrogant. because I'm good, and that's a dangerous person. If I'm probably like you, like me, like most high-striving people, really committed to self-improvement and lower on self-acceptance, I'm self-critical.

And when the stress comes up, like your story about your meeting, if I'm self-critical to naturally deal with the criticism of I'm the CEO and I had these three negative client interactions and why am I a piece of crap and why are my people this and why is this – but you have a – I can tell integrity matters to you and definitely how – as a person, how you look matters to you and your impact on others matters to you.

And when the stress comes up, like your story about your meeting, if I'm self-critical to naturally deal with the criticism of I'm the CEO and I had these three negative client interactions and why am I a piece of crap and why are my people this and why is this – but you have a – I can tell integrity matters to you and definitely how – as a person, how you look matters to you and your impact on others matters to you.

you're going to naturally be self-critical. Now, to deal with that, we become defensive. And that's what you did, I'm guessing, in the meeting. Yes. Yeah.

you're going to naturally be self-critical. Now, to deal with that, we become defensive. And that's what you did, I'm guessing, in the meeting. Yes. Yeah.

yeah it was so bad but also man just so human right i mean you were being honest that's what you really wanted but you know you knew it wouldn't work and you knew you were just your primal self or your shadow self whatever young would call it that it was not going to work and maybe do some irreparable damage uh so but we all go to defense

yeah it was so bad but also man just so human right i mean you were being honest that's what you really wanted but you know you knew it wouldn't work and you knew you were just your primal self or your shadow self whatever young would call it that it was not going to work and maybe do some irreparable damage uh so but we all go to defense