Al Murray

As we begin the 2026 World Cup, I have a message for anyone wishing to turn this noble, beautiful competition into a tawdry, cynical, purely money-making exercise.

I am available.

Because I will flog anything.

Watches, vacuum cleaners, laptops, perfume, coffee, underpants, and problematic regimes with appalling human rights records.

I'm basically the Argos catalogue, but with less of a spine.

There is no product I won't sacrifice my remaining dignity for as long as the price is right.

And I do have a gap in my schedule as my long-term endorsement of helium gas is about to come to an end.

Yours greedily, David.

You're listening to PM with me, Evan Davis.

I'm smooth all over, like one of those weird hairless cats you see on YouTube.

Kenny Fadenock has said this week that she would scrap the public sector equality duty, which requires public bodies to actively promote equality in all they do.

She joins me now.

Good evening, Evan.

Yes, this is another bold announcement from me.

Kenny is certainly on a roll.

You do seem to have found your feet somewhat in recent months.

Why do you think that is?

It's very simple, Evan.

It's because I am no longer a low-energy weirdo...

For you see, I have finally discovered my mojo.