Alex Carter
speaker
110 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Alex Carter’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So that's the first piece of it. Then the second is, I love the question you asked. A lot of people would ask this, something like, can I get a promotion? Or is it in the cards this year for me to get a promotion? Those questions, there's a major issue. The issue is you've asked a yes or no question. Can I get a raise or can I get a promotion is a yes or no question.
And when you ask a yes or no question, what is the easiest answer for somebody to give you? No, no, no. So instead, I like people to ask questions, and I have three magic ways that you can formulate what I call an open or a diagnostic question. These are the questions that research shows make people the most money, and they compel someone to give you a lot of information.
So instead, you should be asking what, how, and my favorite two magic words, tell me. So Ilana, what are the criteria for promotion? Or Ilana, what is the process for promotion this year? How? Ilana, how can we work together to make the case? How can I help you with data or other evidence to show that this is the year I'm going to be promoted? And finally, it could be
Tell me when the next time is that we should have this conversation. Tell me the format you'd like me to put together this information in. Tell me who else is involved in the decision that I might want to speak to. Tell me about the process. Those are questions that show command, they show leadership, they show collaboration, and they're impossible to say no to.
Yes. The first half of Ask for More is the section that I call the mirror. And this is the section where we start the negotiation. Most of the time, people think negotiation starts from the moment that you and I are sitting down together and talking about my request for a promotion, but it doesn't.
negotiation starts at home with you, with that individual person and looking in the metaphorical mirror to ask yourself a few great questions so that you can go into that negotiation with the other person from a place of total clarity, total confidence, total command. So what does that look like? When I sit down with myself, I'm asking myself a few questions.
First of all, I'm thinking about, okay, What's the problem I want to solve in what I'm about to ask Ilana for? Maybe I'm asking for this promotion because I want to show Ilana that I'm on a trajectory for the top. This promotion is part of where I want to go for the company.
Maybe I want this promotion because I know it's going to expose me to types of clients or different types of leaders that are going to help me grow. Maybe I want this promotion because I realized that that management team is lacking somebody with the skillset that I bring to the table. So all of that stuff helps you. Next, I would ask myself, what do I need?
This is so important, and I call this, Ilana, the needs audit. I want to sit down and ask myself, what are all the things I need in order to not just survive, but to thrive in my career? And I have people put them into two buckets. There's the tangibles, right? The things you can quantify, touch, see, or count. That might be my base compensation, my bonus, if there's any stock.
But beyond that, what's my title? What are the resources attached to this position? What's my headcount? All of those different tangible buckets. But I don't stop there. I want each person also to think about what are the intangibles that I'm looking for, those values that make me feel fulfilled, that make my job life worth living, a place I want to stay.
If you've ever been in a job or a role where it was right on paper and felt deeply wrong in your guts, we've all been there. That is a sign that you've got some intangibles that are missing. So think things like, I need challenge or I need autonomy. I need respect. And then thinking for yourself, what would challenge look like for me in a role? What would autonomy or freedom look like for me?
And in the context of that, you are going to have such a complete list of needs that then when you're presented with offers, you are going to feel rock solid confidence about what works for you and what doesn't because you're already there.
The last thing I'll say, Ilana, that I think is really, really important, especially for people who might be lacking confidence or might be nervous going into this negotiation, I like you to ask yourself a really powerful question. It's how have I handled something like this successfully in the past?
Because too often I find that even really credentialed, brilliant professionals go in thinking, oh God, last time this didn't work or here's what I did wrong.
And research actually shows that if you go in having thought about and written down a time when you did something similar successfully, not only is it like a power prime on your brain, so you're automatically feeling more powerful, more creative, more flexible, but it's data.
It's going to tell you, when you write that down, Ilana, you're going to be reminded of who you are at your best as a negotiator. What are your best strategies? What are your best qualities? What can you lean into to be successful? And I've seen this question more than any other break through those psychological barriers and have people go forth and get what they need.
Okay, so what I want you to know, first of all, is that the default is people expect you to negotiate. Even during the height of the pandemic, Ilana, I remember speaking to lots of hiring managers who were saying, I have at least 10% more and no one's asking for it. So first of all, I would say default is people expect you to negotiate.
Even with more salary transparency laws now in the US, there are laws in certain jurisdictions that say the band for this position is X to Y. even within there, there's room to make the case for why you're at the top of the band. So I like to start, remember, negotiation does not start with the numbers. It starts with your messages.
It starts with using your words to teach people how to think about you and the value you bring long before you get to the numbers. So from the beginning, instead of just pitching myself, I'm asking the manager, Tell me about the company. Tell me about the challenges. Tell me about the opportunities you're seeing.
I might even ask, you know, tell me the last superstar you hired and what made that person so effective. And in the course of asking all of these questions, I'm then in a position when we get to negotiation to say, you've said you're looking for this. You want somebody who can make an impact in this way. People who outperform at your company have these skill sets and we are a perfect match.
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