Alfie Kohn
speaker
385 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Oct 2018
last heard Oct 2018
Alfie Kohn’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
whose love is unconditional and
That relationship is really frayed at best.
Unravels.
when we use either punishment, which we call consequences, because now the k kid is about as happy to see us coming as you or I would be to see a police car in our rear view mirror or
When we offer rewards for acceptable behaviour, because now we're not a caring ally either.
We're a a goody dispenser on legs.
And the point again is just to please the person with the goodies, which is to say the person with power.
So I can imagine that constantly correcting me at the dinner table
It's a great way, first of all, for me to lose my appetite and h hate family dinners because they're now unpleasant.
But also it's uh
A stage
on which we are watching the dissolution of the parent-child relationship.
Uh sure.
Um the first thing is not to be too critical of yourself if you have been swept along with behaviorist tide in our in our culture by using rewards and punishments.
And if they're if you're saying, Oh crap, I've done it wrong, then I have terrific faith in you because
That's on the top at the top of my list for what makes a great parent is someone
willing to gulp.
and say, Oh boy, maybe maybe I can be doing it better.
The people I worry about are those who
scowl and fold their arms and dismiss what the research is saying.
Showing 321–340 of 385 · page 17 of 20
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