Ali Shahalom

In short, my man's got a P-Hajj-D in this ting.

The best advice Yusuf gave me was to join the Hajj Telegram channel.

So I did.

And straight out the gate, I'm getting hundreds of messages a day.

Believe it or not, I'm reading every single one.

My screen time is through the roof.

I'm making Mark Zuckerberg look like he's off-grid.

This Telegram channel is essentially a forum.

Members ask questions and guides that work in the hodge industry answer.

price cash only but one message from the group admin sprung everyone into action hodge packages will drop soon we advise those interested in purchasing a ticket to make an application complete with passport details on lusuk as soon as possible oh my days packages will drop soon i don't want to miss this booking window plus i haven't actually properly told my wife and parents about this plan when i did i witnessed a real life telegram chat in my living room how will we

I don't even have walking sandals.

I'm diabetic, what if I collapse?

Am I even ready for Hajj?

Who the hell is Jusuk?

They're looking at me like I've lost the plot.

But with my newfound telegram research, I feel like the Martin Lewis of Hodge, quoting numbers off the dome.

But my family weren't convinced.

So I channel my inner Gareth Southgate, look my family in the eye and deliver the team talk of my life.

Guys, listen.

Money comes, money goes.