Alison Rosen

Instead of going out in the fresh air to enjoy activities like kite flying or horseback riding with a coach or other trusted adult, I prefer to stay indoors and wear a jean jacket.

also i'm very undependable if i had a watch which i don't because i pawned it for drugs the big hand would be on party and the little hand would be on time but this watch wouldn't take me to parties where i have meaningful exchanges with family members in the church it would take me to pity parties where i do drugs and have sex and commit crimes and sacrifice chickens i wish i could stop but i'm out of control

Upcoming chapters include My Lips Are Moving, So I Must Be Lying, Peer Pressure, A How-To Guide, and I'm a Glass of Orange Juice and I Think I Can Fly, So I'm Going to Jump Out a Window and Then Feed Myself Parts of My Own Face.

I think so.

All right.

You don't have to start shit, but I feel like what Dawson's really thinking is, I don't think Tom Hanks is from there.

We called it, too.

But back to stuff that Adam knows about.

And were the Albanians enraged?

But congratulations, you guys.

Oh, wait.

I see it lighting up.

Oh, there we go.

The phone is sitting on your point.

I think we all heard how it went.

Oh, there we go.

Extra foreboding chiming in the background.

Let's survey the room.

What is your ringtone?

Don't play it, just say it.