Allison Holker
speaker
558 appearances
4 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Allison Holker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And it's no one else's fault. It's not a wife's fault or a partner's fault or the children's fault or their loved ones or their friends, but they've been hurting inside and been too scared to reach out to someone. And that through what I've experienced and my family's experience, they decided to make the choice to get help or to talk to someone about it. And it's helped them so much.
And so this really is like a testament to all those people that are starting to stand up for themselves and be brave and speak out and seek out help. And there really are so many resources out there that I was not aware of either that I'm trying to advocate for and trying to promote other people to feel safe to reach out to.
Well, I remember I started dance a little bit later than most girls start dance. A lot of people start dance when they're about three or four years old. I didn't start dancing until later. Like it was like in my early like 10s, you know, like nine, 10 years old, I started dancing. And, um, my father was really struggling for work at the time. So he was going overseas a lot.
And so he was gone a lot of my childhood. Like when I was, you know, like those really, um, crucial years of connecting with your dad and your parents. And my dad was gone a lot, but it's cause he was, it wasn't a bad thing. He wasn't trying to want to like run away from us. He was just trying to like care for us in the best way he could. Right. But he was gone still struggling.
And, um, I was still in dance and that was kind of like my safe place. I I felt really alone with my parents both working and being gone. So dance gave me this place of friendship and my teachers kind of became my parents in that kind of role for me. That when my dad came home one time, I was like, we cannot afford this anymore. I was devastated.
And so I went into my dance studio owner, Cheryl Dowling, with my mother and I was like, we can't pay for this, but thank you for everything. I love dance. It's not you guys. I just, we have no other options here. We can't afford it. And she was like, give me a second, let me work this out. And she said to me, she was like, would you be willing to clean the studio?
And at that time, so I'd only started dancing for a couple of years. I was I think like 12 or 13 when she was like, would you be willing to clean the dance studio? And I was like, anything, I'll do anything as I love it so much. Even though it only been a couple of years of dancing, I knew that this was my purpose for life. I knew I was supposed to do this.
And so I literally gave up my childhood and every single night I would, you know, after school, I would go to my dance classes. I'd be there till about 9.30 PM. And then I would clean the dance studio for an hour and a half every single night. And I would go in on the weekends and have to do a deep cleaning of everything and dusting of the studios.
And I did that all the way till I graduated high school at 18 years old. And I look back at that and I do not regret any of it. It taught me work ethic. It taught me that I was doing something for the right reasons. It gave me dedication. And it also taught me that I love something so grand that I'm willing to give up so much as a child to be here.
And then it also made me really respect my dance teacher seeing so much of me, giving me that opportunity. Because let's be real, I probably wasn't the best at what I was doing. Yeah. But she worked with me and made it possible for me.
And so I just have so much gratitude in my heart for my mother, but also my dance owner, you know, my dance studio owner, Cheryl Dowling, for just seeing something in me and believing in me so much that she overpaid me for the job that I was doing, but she just knew I had to be there. And so she sacrificed a lot for me as well. And I'm so grateful to have had that opportunity.
For all of it though, also for the commitment I learned from such an early age. The more hours you put into what you love, that's when you're gonna succeed. And it's not just the talent and the skill, it's the love that you pour into it and the amount of hours you're willing to dive into something. And so I treasure those hours at the dance studio.
And it was really hard at times, too, because I was a janitor and being made fun of by other dance girls, you know, other girls that maybe, you know, saw themselves as better than me or they thought it was, you know, silly me to have to work and, you know, clean the garbages and clean the toilets after them every single day. I would be laughed at and kind of ridiculed for that.
And I had to stand my ground and know that I'm doing this for a better purpose for myself. And I believe in myself. And so it taught me a lot of like grit too.
Yeah. It was hard. It was hard, but it built me up. It built me up so much because I had to believe in myself because also once I would go home, my parents were still gone. So I was alone so much, but I never let it defeat me. I never wanted it to. I knew I could be strong on my own two feet and I knew I belonged in there.
I think that's something you always work on and have to work on. Which is why I, for years, have believed in affirmations. Oh, and every day I start with gratitude. I say three things I'm grateful for every single day. Small things, big things, things that people wouldn't even think about. But my affirmations really help to build me up every single day.
And I usually point out the things I need the help the most with. When it comes to beauty or feeling like I'm worthy or feeling like I deserve the love coming my way or feeling like I'm a good mother or making the right choices in my life, am I going down the right career path? I usually affirm to myself every single morning the things I'm struggling with the hardest.
But it's a choice to actively say those affirmations and convince yourself to believe it is a real skill set. Do you look in the mirror when you say them? Yes. You do. I do every morning. Do you make eye contact with yourself? It's important to do that. I used to just write the affirmations I am, I have, and I deserve. I used to do one page of all affirmations. You know, I am strong. I am smart.
I am beautiful. I am kind. I have loving kids. I have support system. And I go down these whole lists and I used to only write them down. But in order to believe it, you have to see yourself saying it to yourself and you have to say it with a smile on your face and you have to see it and believe it.
And so now I say it when I'm getting ready in the morning, which is why I love doing my hair and makeup every morning, because it's really my affirmations and like my gratitude moments. So saying and talking to myself and pumping myself up because you have to be your own advocate. You have to be your own hero.
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