Anita Shimmins

speaker

415 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard May 2026 last heard 10 Jul

Anita Shimmins’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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But Are You Happy? · How To Stop Overthinking What People Think Of You · 10 Jul 2026 podcast

So if we're talking about an attachment kind of from an attachment perspective if my parents are really unpredictable sometimes they're really warm sometimes they're not.

Sometimes it's just not there.

I'm going to become very attuned to picking up on tiny little cues because it's become really an important strategy for me not to miss opportunities to connect.

And so, yeah, if I've got an anxious attachment, I might be very rejection sensitive and be looking out for those cues and much more sensitive to them compared to someone who doesn't have that anxious attachment.

I've got a more avoidant attachment.

So if I'm used to people can't be relied on and I have to fend for myself, I might just have a lot more of a defensive kind of, you know, keep you at bay kind of mindset and expect that everything you have to say to me or do towards me is somehow has doesn't have the best intentions that will impact that as well.

And it's just it's so automatic as well.

So, yeah, it's exhausting when you perceive the world through kind of a threat lens and it takes a toll.

I would say there's no kind of gender that's more likely to take things personally.

I think it's the environment growing up more so that might make you a little bit more prone to taking things personally.

But I do think it might play out differently for men and women.

Um, so like we said before, we take things personally in areas where we care most about.

So perhaps for, for a woman that might be, um, you know, traditionally we might have had the societal expectations that women don't show anger or aren't too, aren't too kind of forward.

And so maybe any ambiguous comments that might show that you've, you've

somehow violated those expectations you might be much more sensitive to than a guy where that's much more acceptable whereas maybe for men they have different societal expectations placed on them not to be too vulnerable or too sensitive and so any comments that might imply that at all might be taken up much more personally than for a woman the same comments would be

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

I think, you know, it's evened out a little bit now, but I would say, you know, historically it might've been that there was a more gendered element to it where, yeah, women were kind of placed in a very particular, it was a very small kind of box that we were allowed to be in.

And so any, any signals that we might be stepping outside of that

very rigid box would be a threat and therefore we might have been much more attuned to picking up on any potential trespasses.

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