Anna Kai
speaker
108 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Anna Kai’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And so like sometimes these questions, I'm like, just I hate talking about myself on those like prompts. Yeah, that's like it's so hard because like you have to be witty, funny, interesting. And I'm just like.
Yeah, that's fine. But I think dating via a committee decision is crazy because that just means that you, A, haven't figured out how to make your own decisions without a popular vote effectively, or you don't really like that person. So it's one or the other, both of which are not healthy. And friends, I love my girlfriends. They have very different tastes than men than me.
And I would never go to them for advice on would you date this man? Because I wouldn't date their husbands. Their husbands are great people, but we wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole. We just have very different tastes in men. And I also think the other thing, not to get a little bit cynical about it, is especially like I have a lot of DMs from women
asking me for advice on friendships, female friendships, right? Because sometimes we get into toxic relationships with our female friends who are actually in competition with us and not in cooperation with us. And so if you're dating amazing guy and you've got sort of this codependent best friend, you know, my God, the way like women, especially in their
Late teens, early 20s are obsessed with like, they're so possessive of their best friend. And another girl comes into the photo. It's like, well, she's my best friend.
But every woman has been in that situation. It's like if your girlfriend is single and you meet an amazing guy and they're afraid they're going to lose you, of course they're going to say some shit to fuck it up, right? So, you know, it's like friends are great, but everybody's opinion is just that, an opinion. It's a subjective point of view.
61 years. OK.
Right. I, you know, I've been with my husband for six years now. We don't do anything that is quote unquote Instagrammable, but I know he's there. I'm there. We show up for each other in the ways that matter and maybe not necessarily ways that look cute in social media.
But again, these are things that if you're focusing on that, that's how I feel about when people get really their panties in a twist about like, it's easy.
not posting me on his instagram it's like it's not actually about the little thing that you care about it's about the fact that at the crux of your relationship you do not feel that he cares about you so you're trying to you know grasp onto these little things to say well if he only did this then i would feel loved okay but then he would do that and it's like well i don't because he can yeah so yeah it's about the fact that you don't feel secure in a relationship
Well, here's my caveat to that is I agree, you know, figure out how to feel secure in a relationship. And I up until the point where you said he takes a day to respond. I was like, you know, my husband's not he takes a day to respond. You are out of sight, out of mind. That's what I would say.
You don't ever, no, no one needs a day to respond. Unless he's an ER surgeon, you know, and he's, you know.
Unless he's like, you know, in the secret, whatever, doesn't have access to a phone. If he's taking a day to respond, he doesn't care about you that much. My husband hates texting. does not like it as a form of communication, didn't text me all day every day from the first time we met, but he never made me wait that long. There was never a game.
He always made sure I felt that I knew he was interested. So if you are feeling this, that's your intuition saying this guy's not that into you. You've been on five dates. You can. Here's would be my advice to her is that I would bring it up with him once. Say, look, I love being with you and it's great, but I don't like that you take so long to respond.
And this is something that I need not be like you need to do. It's like I need somebody who makes me feel seen, heard and appreciated when we're not together. And if that's not something that you're able to do right now, that's totally fine. But I want to be clear. So therefore, you're coming from a position of power as opposed to, well, why can't you do this, right?
It's like, and then maybe he'll be like, you might be surprised. Some men are just dense, right? So maybe let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he doesn't understand, right? And maybe he gets better. But if he doesn't, that's your answer.
That's your answer.
You never be afraid to leave. Women screw themselves over so much by being afraid to leave because even five dates, it's like, oh, but I've already been on five dates with him. It's like it's a sunk cost. It's gone.
I agree with Grandma Gail. I don't think it's necessary. And I also think your boyfriend, that's different.
Do not let them in.
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