Ariana Madix

physically intimate and I knew that physical intimacy was something that he was saying he was lacking so I'm like I don't know how I can meet you where you need to be when I'm not being met where I need to be like how do we figure this out right it's almost like you both couldn't it was a circle it's like no but come home earlier he's like no but like I'm miserable because we don't have sex you're like but we need to hang out in order to have sex and it's just like it like what I said on the show I was like I can't teleport

I think I just was doing my best to be present and going out with him more and trying to be more fun party time gal.

You know, I was just trying to be, I don't know, like fun and hot.

I don't know.

Right.

Dude.

I mean, part of me was just like, I mean, this is fine.

Cause again, I was still doing like that inner child work and it was, you know, I felt like that was really helping me to just be like, I love myself and I'm, you know, doing, I mean, that like really changed the game for me.

I think...

Like this sense of perfectionism, because I mean, I love my dad, but my dad also like didn't come home after work and stuff.

And I was always like straight A student, super overachiever.

And I think like going back and looking at it, a lot of times I did those things.

I mean, maybe because I wanted people to be like, I'll be there.

So I thought like if I could be the perfect girlfriend or the perfect...

girl that they'll come home they'll want to be around me and I'll be enough I won't have to be me tap dancing doing shrooms and hang gliding I can just be me and that will be enough

Like my, yeah.

I mean, I hate to speak ill of my, I love my dad.

He's a great person in so many ways, but he would, you know, sometimes just be like, okay, where there's a random dive bar down the street, I'd go do that instead of coming home and helping with homework.

Yeah.

I can kind of do it all over again.