Ariana Madix

And be better.

I don't know.

I think I was a version of happy that I thought was...

i don't know what i wanted and i also felt like the bones of the relationship were good and i felt as though the potential for the relationship to be just incredible was there

And I think it was the potential and the OK, if we can make it through this time, the Fred again song, we lost dancing.

I literally the night that Tom or that Schwartz and Sandy's had the like their last like opening thing.

I was driving Tom home, and I was like, just listen to the words of this song.

And in the song, when I think it's the Blessed Madonna says, if I can make it through this next six months, what comes next will be marvelous.

And I literally was like, if you can get through this, if we can get through this opening of this bar and whatever, what comes next for us will be marvelous.

And I just cannot believe...

That he had already been having, at that point he was already, I don't know.

Things would kind of... They would wax and wane.

They would be ebbs and flows.

And I feel like we would have so many amazing times.

So then if there was like a couple weeks that were like not great or if I was like unsure about something, there was so much other stuff that was great.

Or I would be like laugh... We would be laughing hysterically about something or...

that it was almost like I think hard to say, oh, this person's not right for me because I also had never been in a relationship that long before.

So it's hard to know, like, what is it supposed to be like, you know, because past

I think my my my longest adult relationship previous to that was, I think, like three years or so.

So it's like past that point.