ArrDee

He's the coolest thing since sliced bread.

And obviously I still, he's still a cool guy.

I still love him.

But from being with my partner and having this new perspective, it's like,

I almost had sympathy for him for the first time, which is something that I've always hated feeling for people and for myself.

And what I saw was someone who had basically done the same thing as I had, but through whatever he has dealt with him losing his dad when he was young and being kicked out by his mom and having to grow up.

and become an adult like so many obviously in a very different world because it's music and fame and whatever but it's like humanized them even more but now on a on a sympathy level and it was the first time in my life and it was quite it was i remember i was actually quite not upset by it it was a weird feeling of like almost guilt because that cape had been

tooken off like i'm saying like that the mask had been the curtain had been pulled a little bit and i know that he could feel it as well he could see or i could see in his eyes

that he could see in me, this story.

It was just a regular, like, bullshit, funny, mad thing that happened when it's always about girls and someone being cheated on and someone being hurt and a load of drugs being taken and, like, some mad story that has some Snatch Guy Richie-themed ending.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Right.

And that was a super surreal moment for me because it had...

happened without me realizing and so when i then went back to my partner osh and kind of explained this feeling so yeah it was just quite a profound moment for me that's a life-changing yeah like my whole life had just been turned on its head

I knew that...

the love not the love because I don't want to slate um the label that I was with because they're all amazing people and obviously they've all got their own jobs to look after but just tide change in the industry everybody has to move at no time A&Rs have got to maintain their jobs it's a really tough industry where like if you are not meeting a certain quota of delivering a certain amount of records and a couple of my records haven't connected they have they can't just

I have to die on this hill because I'm RD, but everybody and their mum in the building doesn't have to die on the hill with me because they've got a family to feed.

And I know that now, even though if you'd asked me at the time, I probably would have slagged them all off.

And so all of that combined with, again, all of this stuff that I hadn't really dealt with.

I'm going three days on the trot and my mum's having to film the states I'm in.