Arthur Aron
speaker
91 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Arthur Aron’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And we showed that one of the causalities is, you know, if you're close to another couple, you spend time with them and you talk about deep things, you feel deeply connected, That creates a sense of you appreciate your partner's responsiveness to you even. In that context, your partner tends to be more responsive, which is a really important element in relationships.
Feeling your partner is responsive. Being responsive to your partner is good, but feeling your partner is responsive to you. They hear you, they understand you, they care about you. Those are crucial. Last summer, we went on a barge trip with one of our closest couple friends. So we had both an exciting activity and a novel, challenging activity.
Never been on a barge trip down a river in Scotland, you know. And we also had it with a close friend, so it had a double effect.
To prepare for the trip, I got some pills that are supposed to help you. I got a patch I could put on. I got a thing I put on my wrist. There are all these things that people talk about help you deal with, because I knew I'd get seasick easily. And of course, we've since then done a little whale watching on a very large, flat boat, not in a difficult ocean, and it went okay.
But this time, we were going out into the San Francisco, not the bay, beyond the bay, and it's very rough water, and it was just too much. I fed the whales the whole time, leaning over the edge.
Yeah, there's research showing that celebrating your partner's successes matters even more than supporting when things go badly, although that also matters. My wife studies something called the highly sensitive person, and I collaborate with her on that, just like she collaborates with me on our relationship research.
Well, the very first time I read the paper talking about the role of it being important to celebrate your partner's successes, she had recently submitted a paper to a very top scientific journal. I was a co-author. It was basically her paper. And we thought it had a poor chance of getting accepted, but we gave it a chance.
Before she came home, I got an email from the editor saying the reviewers loved it. I loved it. This is a great paper. We're going to publish it. And so I made a poster of that and put it on the front door for when she came home.
Yes.
Yes. Yeah, that's true. We had a great night, as you can imagine.
My pleasure. Thank you so much, Shankar.
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