Bela Gandhi

It builds connection and you feel so much more comfortable before showing up on a date with a total stranger.

And also, I mean, if the person, you know, has some red flags, I kind of jokingly say to people sometimes like,

Crazy can't hide for more than 15 minutes.

Hope the person's truly bananas.

You'll see that on the video call and maybe save yourself the two worst hours of your life.

But doing a quick video chat is a great way to make yourself comfortable and just start to pedal the bike again.

Yeah, I think when you think about it, it gets pretty intuitive, right?

When you have strong, smart, successful women that have been super, you know, they've had these alpha high voltage, amazing careers.

They have done this because they've had a plan and they've worked really hard.

They've turned situations around that were unturnaroundable, right?

They have fixed companies.

They have fixed real estate.

They fix people.

Maybe they're surgeons, right?

And they know if I work really hard at this, it's going to pay dividends, right?

Those same skills in the dating world, if the person that you're dating or in a relationship with isn't good for you, those same skills can work against us.

We work so hard to put sunlight into a black hole.

We work hard to stay in something that might be abusive, that isn't serving us, that's toxic.

But we stay because that's all we know how to do is work harder because then they're going to like me.

If I do this, it's performative.