Big E
speaker
1,805 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2026
last heard 25 Jun
Big E’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And it's just when you're on this journey.
Hamster wheel, just, like, I struggle, my struggle started since childhood.
You know, it's like single digits.
I have this vivid memory of being nine years old and looking in the mirror and despising myself.
So when you're doing this, it's just so exhausting to be fighting this battle from a kid, and I'm a teenager, and everything that I wanted that I thought could fix me, like, I got, I was a state champion wrestler, a powerlifting national champion.
I got to play football at Iowa.
I got to, like, you know, all these dreams I had, I got to live out.
And still this isn't enough to still fix me to feel like I have value or to feel worthy of love.
So I think just that constant toll of being worn down by my depression.
I talked to a lot of other people too who have that same feeling like depression can just be so exhausting.
And when you're fighting for that long, it's just like, I just don't want to be doing this for any longer.
I just like the idea of, let's say my natural lifespan is 70, 80 years.
You need to tell me like, I got to keep, I got to keep doing this.
I got to, I got to wake up and struggle with like, you know, oftentimes I would have nightmares, these really vivid nightmares, these disturbing nightmares.
And then you're starting your day and then you have headaches and just like,
I don't wanna be fighting anymore.
I'm tired of this.
It is wearing me down.
I think I just got to a point where I just was,
I was ready to be done.
Showing 141–160 of 1,805 · page 8 of 91
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