Bill Burr

Somebody's going to fall down.

If you get punched and then you fall down, I think that that's what it is, right?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Anyway, the fuck was I talking about?

This fucking ice cream sandwich.

And I'm looking and I go, that looks like that kind of ice cream.

Like you ever see when they put Oreos in the microwave?

Someone will do that on the internet and they just, they can't, it doesn't melt, whatever the fuck that is.

As we're 25 years into fighting a war on terrorism, we allow a U.S.

company to feed this to its own citizens.

Okay.

So I looked at it and I go, I was just looking at these people going like, I can't fucking believe this.

They're eating that shit.

So I go with the turkey leg, and I'm eating the turkey leg, and I'm having a good time, but then I get filled up with all that sodium, and lo and behold, I end up being hungry at the end of the night, and the parade's happening, and everybody I'm with is getting ice cream sandwiches, and I said, all right, I'll get an ice cream sandwich, and I can't believe I ate that thing.

I've been eating like an idiot the last couple weeks, but today I went to the gym and I got back on it.

But I will tell you, whatever was in that ice cream sandwich is going to be in my body for the rest of my life.

And when my body decomposes, all the Oreo cookies and that ice cream sandwich is going to be what's left.

It's just like how much money do you have to make that you start feeding people poison?

And then as always, they'll put it on you.