Bill Burr

Today's the 26th.

Let's see here.

That's Thursday.

No, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

So this Saturday, I'm going to be at the Brady Theater, Tulsa, Oklahoma.

And then on March 31st, I'm going to be down in San Antonio, Texas, right?

The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas.

What do they have there?

What do they call that thing, that little fucking river that you...

The river walk.

It's actually really relaxing.

You know?

And then you don't really ever have to get off and buy anything.

You're just fucking sitting there floating around on a goddamn boat.

That's going to be one of those weird flights where like it should only take me like an hour to go from fucking Tulsa, Oklahoma or 90 minutes to San Antonio.

But it's going to take the whole fucking day because I don't have to like connect through like Denver or some shit.

Speaking of which, I got some shows coming up in Pittsburgh, April 6th.

And for whatever fucking reason, the only direct flight I can get out of L.A.

is a Southwest flight.

I don't understand.