Bill Nighy

speaker

3,126 appearances 11 recordings 3 series first heard Dec 2025 last heard 6d ago

Bill Nighy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 11 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 3.

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ill-advised by Bill Nighy · He Showers In The Dark · 21 May 2026 podcast

No, I don't think it's inappropriate.

I think you can shake hands.

I don't think you want to kiss anybody on the cheek unless you've slept with them, basically, or they're your mother.

And even then, when I used to try and kiss my mother on the cheek, she would always pull back quite stridently as if, you know, what are you doing?

So I gave it up.

But I have a particular problem, which is I have Jupiter's contracture in both hands, which means that my small fingers rest in my palm all of the time.

So when I shake anybody's hand, it's like I'm sending a message.

And I have got into trouble over the years.

There was a girl years ago when my finger had just started to bend because I wasn't born like that.

It's a gradual bending of the little fingers over time.

And before it was really conspicuous, I had a crush on a girl at work and I didn't trouble her with it, obviously, but it was big and I was mad about it.

And I met her that evening at work.

And then the following morning in the corridor, she was walking by and I said, good morning.

And she said, if you ever try any of that shit with me again, I'm gonna fucking have you.

And I'm only cursing because she did, listeners.

And I didn't know what she was talking about, and she just stormed off.

And then about a month later, maybe I got a letter from her saying, Dear Bill, I'm so, so sorry, but when I was a schoolgirl in Leeds, that meant, do you want to go around the back of the bike shed?

And you think, oh, so I look like someone who might say or indicate that they want to take you around the back of the bike shed.

You know, I must have shaken her hand the night before.

And she thought that I was placing my pinky in her palm in order to send that message.

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