Brad Watts
speaker
159 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Brad Watts’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
I actually love that it's bringing up these questions. So I think there are two ways to respond to the parents you come from. One way is to look at their behavior, their patterns, their values, and go, ugh, this is sad, this doesn't sit well with me, but this is just the way it is. I guess I'm stuck with the patterns that they helped create, like this pattern of pushing people away.
The other way to respond to your parents is, I really don't like a lot of what I see in my house. I can see how this stuff has made me the kind of person I am today, and I want to do things differently. I want to treat people differently. I want to have more meaningful relationships.
I want to be the best version of myself according to the values and experiences that I find important, which is precisely what you're doing just by asking these questions, which is terrific. So in a way, what's happening at home, it's really tragic and frustrating. In another way, though, your parents are giving you a very clear model to avoid.
They're showing you what happens when you don't treat people well, when you don't really listen to what your children are asking of you, when you don't show up for the people you love. So one great way to chart a different path, to learn the right principles, as you put it, is to basically do the opposite of what your parents do in these departments. Treat people kindly, respectfully.
Resist the impulse to diminish or shame people. Don't cheat on your partners. Don't try to one-up people or play power games with them. Show up for your friends and family, whether it's supporting them at events or helping them through a tough time or lending a generous ear, whatever that looks like. And look, you don't need to be perfect at all these things.
They might feel a little awkward, a little scary, kind of vulnerable, but that's okay. In fact, that is good. Those feelings are signs that you're relating to people in a very different way from your parents and you're having a totally new experience of the world. And while you do that, I also wouldn't judge the parts of yourself that might look a little like your parents sometimes.
For example, sometimes you might catch yourself mentally cutting someone down or being a little cold with somebody who's being nice to you. or worrying about where you fall in the pecking order of your office or your friend group, just to name a few examples of tendencies that you might have inherited from your parents and also from the culture at large.
And if those things come up, I wouldn't do to yourself what you say your mom does to people, which is shame yourself. Like, God, I'm so petty. I'm so judgy. I'm failing to live up to my ideals. I guess I really am just like them. There's no need for that. I would just notice those thoughts, notice those tendencies when they pop up and go, huh, interesting. All right, there's mom, there's dad.
That's the thing I've seen them do 100 times. There's that old me who defaults to keeping people at arm's length, whatever it is. And then you just have to meet those parts of yourself with a little bit of curiosity and compassion. Ask yourself why they're there, what they might be trying to do for you, whether they fit with your new goals and values.
That'll get you a lot further than beating yourself up and condemning them, which is another pattern that you might be in the process of rewriting.
Exactly. If you want to lead with kindness, be kind. If you want to have close relationships, be vulnerable. Let people be vulnerable with you. If you want to have loyal friends, be loyal. Do what you say you will. Show up when it counts. It's not all that complicated, but it does require work and some courage and vulnerability and meeting people. and meeting yourself in a new way.
Exactly. Your feelings will settle. Your relationship with your parents will land where it needs to land. There's productive thinking about the future. And then there's just fantasy and speculation, which usually isn't very helpful. Again, I'm so sorry that you're struggling with your parents these days. I'm sorry for them that they feel the need to conduct themselves that way.
I'm sure they're doing their best with the resources and understanding they have. It sucks. But like I said, it's also showing you the path not to take. And from that perspective, coming from this kind of home is also a strange gift. If you know what to do with it, which you clearly do, sending you a big hug, you got this.
Go back and check out Scott Galloway and our Skeptical Sunday on Fluoride in the Water if you haven't done so yet. The best things that have happened in my life and business have come through my network, the circle of people that I know, like, and trust. I want to teach you how to build the same thing in a free course. It's at 6minutenetworking.com, free on the Thinkific platform.
The drills take a few minutes a day. It's not something that's going to take a whole bunch of time. Dig the well before you get thirsty. Build relationships before you need them. It's not schmoozy. It's not gross. It's really super useful stuff. Again, over at 6minutenetworking.com. Show notes, transcripts on the website, advertisers, discounts, ways to support the show.
All those good deals are over at jordanharbinger.com slash deals. I'm at Jordan Harbinger on Twitter and Instagram. You can also add me on LinkedIn. Gabe's over on Instagram at Gabriel Mizrahi or on Twitter at Gabe Mizrahi. This show is created in association with Podcast One. My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Robert Fogarty, and of course, Gabriel Mizrahi.
Our advice and opinions are our own. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, however. So do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show. Remember, we rise by lifting others. Share the show with those you love. If you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who could use the advice we gave here today.
In the meantime, I hope you apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you learn and we'll see you next time. Here's a sample of my interview with an emerging infectious disease expert that's taking a proactive approach to identify, prepare for, and stop viral threats before they become pandemics. Here's a quick look inside.
For more, including why a future influenza epidemic is not a matter of if but when, and why vaccine hesitancy is one of the top 10 health threats in the entire world, check out episode 320 of The Jordan Harbinger Show with Dennis Carroll.
Showing 141–159 of 159 · page 8 of 8
← Previous