Brooke and Jeffrey

No, I don't think so.

You're going to hear it in a brand new textual healing coming up next.

Textual healing.

Textual healing.

Welcome to Textual Healing.

The segment where we take your so-called complicated life problems and instantly fix them for you with one simple text message.

Yes, it is that easy.

Because we help you craft the perfect message to make all of your issues and problems melt away like a tasty handful of off-brand Xanax.

That's what we do for you.

This feels too good to be true, Jeff.

Like you've forgotten all the other textual healings that we've done.

Maybe it's the handful of Xanax that I just took.

But we do have a woman on the phone right now.

I don't know anything about her, not even her name.

I just have a note here saying this is a last-second emergency desperate situation that she's in, and she would really like our help with it.

So hello, listener.

Welcome to the show.

Who are you?

Hi, this is Janelle and I would really appreciate some help.

I got a really upsetting text and it sort of feels like I've lost my best friend.