Caroline Foran

compassion can fall into a trap of being like really self-indulgent or we think it just means giving up and just surrendering to every inclination we have.

Like if I was to always be really compassionate whenever I felt anxiety in the past, I wouldn't have gotten out of the bed, you know?

So the trick is, and I interviewed a woman, Dr. Kimberly Quinlan on my podcast for this and she introduced me to the idea of what that, the kind of sweet spot of compassion and accountability and it's,

Yes, knowing when to push and knowing when to pull back.

Like on some days, you'll know this is not a day where I can like, I'm not going to learn a lesson today.

I just need to totally surrender to it.

But there will come a time where you need to say, yes, I'm feeling it, but I'm thinking of myself in the long term and what is best for me overall.

And that might be doing the thing that feels hard.

And that might be it might not it might not always be giving into every single feeling like so compassionate accountability allows me to really acknowledge and hold space for whatever it is I'm feeling and say yeah this is hard and this is a lot and this makes sense and anyone would feel this way like this is not just a you thing anyone in this situation would feel this.

So feel that and let that sit on you today.

And like if today it's all too much, that's OK.

But ultimately, the compassionate accountability piece helps me go into action mode of like, what can I do to help myself here?

And I think it's really important not to just fall into a duvet.

Like I would literally never leave like my house.

And I think that's something that comes with time and knowing.

I think we live in a culture that could probably veer towards always get up and do it.

You'll never regret it.

I think you're going to have, you're going to sway.

There is definitely a time and place for today is not the day.

I actually, I'm at capacity.