Cate
speaker
3,159 appearances
15 recordings
2 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard 25 Mar
Cate’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 8 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 3.
Appearances
I'll see you in a few days or whatever you're having, you're drinking. I'm leaving, you know, but I wouldn't, I would sit there and I would just, he's like, I could physically see your body turn inward.
It never took a toll on our relationship.
oh my god now i gotta emotionally monitor her and make sure you know so eventually yeah so for me it just got to a point where i was like i'm not i'm doing myself a disservice yeah like by not sticking to my boundaries and so i made a promise to myself that i was i'm never doing that again i will call it out every time i see it and so my mom and i had a conversation about that um we met up for lunch one time and had a conversation
And I laid out my boundaries again. And that was after we didn't talk for like six months. We met up, had a conversation, and I just was basically like, we can move forward, but these are my boundaries again. And this is what I will not deal with. Fast forward like a month or two after we had that conversation, it was the Carly visit was happening.
And my mom and I, you know, we're kind of still going through it a little bit, but we were talking and stuff again in the mending process. Yeah. And so we had the Carly visit and two times during that visit, she was drinking. At the visit.
Yeah.
And she was drinking at the visit and I didn't want to call it out exactly right there in that moment, which I've learned through therapy wasn't the right thing. Wasn't? Wasn't. That my therapist said you should have stood up right in that moment and said, hey, listen, if you're going to drink, you need to leave.
Not in front of her. Maybe pull him on the side. In the vicinity. As soon as you see it happening, you speak on it. Right. But my thinking in that moment was, I'm going to wait. We only have one more day. And after this visit, I'm bringing it up to her. Okay. And so after the visit happened, we said our goodbyes. The next morning, I woke up. to a text message from my mom's mom.
And she was basically going off on me saying like, the way you treat your mom is disgusting. This is before I even said anything to my mom or anything.
Dude, she just said all this nasty stuff to me and everything. And then so I was I literally just woke up, got that. So then I reached out to my mom. I sent her. I said, your mom's fucking crazy. And for two, I don't appreciate you. I called her out on it. And I said, I do not appreciate like I let you into one of the most intimate things in my life.
And, you know, my boundaries and you did it anyways. And she said, well, I didn't think it was that big of a deal because other people were having drinks, too. And I said, they're not the alcoholic. They're not the one that traumatized me. And one of the reasons why my child is where she is, because I didn't have any support. And so it just it really blew up. But I think I need that.
I needed to feel what it was like to be strong and to not rely on her for anything, you know. Yeah. And that's when we didn't talk for like a year. And so now it's just very slow moving and it's for the kids and same thing, like Tyson, not wanting to have any regrets with, with his dad.
I don't want to have any with my mom either, but she needs to understand what I will tolerate and what I will not anymore. Absolutely. You know, and I stand firm in that, but if, Again, if there's a safe way where the kids can be involved and she can be involved, then I'm cool with that.
But I kind of hated myself in a sense. I felt like a part of it was my fault at the Carly dinner. Because there were so many times before that where she knew my boundaries and she would do it in front of me and I would never call it out. And so I think she was so used to that pattern. Of course, she's going to think, oh, I can do this and she's not going to call it out because she never has.
Right. And then when I did, she blew up.
Yes.
Or saying that he controls.
She's been to multiple family weeks when I've been in treatment. She knows what she has done, you know? Does she ever acknowledge any of it? She has. Yes, she definitely has. She's acknowledged. She's apologized. She's, you know, all of the things. But, you know, I think one of her problems is too that she doesn't do all the therapy for all the shit she went through as a kid.
And if a month later you're cussing me out and saying bad shit about my husband again. You were never really sorry. Exactly. Yeah. Because at that point it's a choice. Like you're choosing to do that. And my clause came out with that too. It's like, how dare you? This man has supported me through everything. My whole life, basically. We've been together for 17 years.
I have four beautiful daughters with this man. And if you think that I would stay in a relationship with a man that controlled me and I just listened to everything that he said, you're out of your fucking mind.
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