Cate

Is that what you said?

No, but it's very common.

Well, going back to when you were younger.

Because I think it's interesting, especially with you having an open adoption.

Do you remember, like, having these visits with your birth mom and, like, the feelings or emotions it brought for you, up for you after, like, you had to say see you later or goodbye?

Did you feel like you could be vulnerable with your... Not really.

And nobody's ever – have you ever asked the question?

And nobody has ever explained why.

Oh, yeah.

You said that they supposedly didn't remember.

Yeah.

What?

But what I'm hearing from you too, like, so being like in an open adoption, getting to see your birth mom, you know, like once a year or whatever, and then having to say goodbye, knowing you have siblings, it sounds like it was

painful for you it still is i that's you asked me that earlier and i kind of forgot to get to it the goodbyes are terrible like i i was saying this last night and see and that's what makes me wonder because i've always wondered like i've talked to ty about it and like every time we would say bye to carly or whatever and we would be physically upset and just emotional for days we would hold and i would always ask him like do you think she feels this i

Which I could see how they could – like you said, not like doing it for good but they were thinking like, oh, it causes a lot of distress or whatever.

It sounds to me like it's just confusing, painful, not knowing how to navigate it at all because you don't know.

And wow.

Even subconsciously.

And you know what's crazy about your statement right there too is that I went years, okay, without even realizing that –

our relinquishment was trauma.