Cathy Adams

speaker

328 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2021 last heard Jul 2021

Cathy Adams’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 259: Getting Aligned Through Parenting and Marriage Challenges, with Zen Parenting's Cathy and Todd Adams · 13 Jul 2021 podcast

And I don't mean like he used the word complain and I know exactly what he means.

I don't mean complaining conversations where we're like, you, you know, but things like this issue is still an issue for us.

And it because you brought it up on Thursday doesn't mean you can't bring it up again on Tuesday.

You say this is still a challenge.

And and I know you know this, Debbie, because I read your writing and everything, that everything comes down to that basic thing is am I enough and do you see me and do you hear me and do you care about me?

Those are all the basic things we're just trying to get at.

But sometimes there's certain triggers because of again, I'm getting into trauma in childhood here, that tend to drive us into a place of insecurity.

And so really all we're trying to get back to is do you see me?

And

And having that knowledge as a partner.

helps decrease that reactivity Todd's talking about.

Well,

Yeah.

And you know, just like you said, can

You know, I may be overreacting and I see it, but can both things be true?

Is it okay that you're real overreacting because you're trying to understand something about yourself and heal something in yourself?

Like overreaction isn't necessarily a character flaw.

It can be a an arrow pointing at something that hurts inside of you.

And that, you know, the whole, you know, goal if when you're with someone and they're your life partner is to help us develop.

develop n uh together but also individually and so if you can say something to your partner that maybe as a child you were never able to say and they can accept you and say I see this and I love you and it's not easy for me to hear but I I can that's a that heals a part of us.

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