Charles Duhigg

speaker

1,650 appearances 6 recordings 6 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 1 Jul

Charles Duhigg’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 2.

Appearances

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Something You Should Know · The Power of Noticing What Matters & Mastering Meaningful Conversation-SYSK Choice · 28 Feb 2026 podcast

We're talking about my day or where we're going to go on vacation.

But what the research shows us from the last decade is that every discussion is actually made up of different kinds of conversations.

And in particular, there are three big buckets that most of those conversations fall into.

There are practical discussions where we're trying to solve a problem, make plans.

There are emotional conversations where I want to tell you how I feel, but I don't want you to solve that for me.

I want you to empathize.

And then there are social conversations, which is about how do we relate to each other and how do we relate to society?

And they said, the thing is, if you're not having the same kind of conversation at the same moment, then you won't really communicate with each other.

You'll fail to hear each other.

And so when you came home, you were having an emotional conversation and your wife responded with a practical conversation.

And both of those are legitimate conversations, but because you were having different conversations at the same moment, you couldn't connect.

You couldn't really hear each other and hear what each other needed.

And so the answer is the matching principle, this thing that in psychology says, in order to communicate and connect with someone, we need to figure out what kind of conversation is happening, whether it's practical, emotional, or social.

And then we need to match each other, either by me matching you or inviting you to match me.

And then once we're aligned, what's known within psychology as neural entrainment, then we can move from topic to topic and type of conversation to type of conversation together, and we'll be able to hear each other.

Yeah, it can sound like a lot, right, as I'm describing it now.

And this is where we get lucky as humans because our brains are optimized to do this once we know what to look for.

So one of the first things you can do is you can ask one of these deep questions, right?

The reason why deep questions are so powerful is not only do they allow us to kind of get to know each other, they also often will tell you what kind of conversation the other person is looking for.

So think about the difference that if I asked you, why'd you become a lawyer?

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