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Chris Distefano

πŸ‘€ Person
3172 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

I need the help. That's why we call him Yanni almost. Fuck. Yachty, always fucking almost.

I need the help. That's why we call him Yanni almost. Fuck. Yachty, always fucking almost.

I need the help. That's why we call him Yanni almost. Fuck. Yachty, always fucking almost.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

This is the history hyenas. When was the last time you had milk? Dude, the last time I had just a full glass of milk was probably about a year and a half ago. I just had a full, I had to go get milk for my kids and I just put it in the fridge there and I was just looking at it and I was like, I'm going to drink some milk.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

This is the history hyenas. When was the last time you had milk? Dude, the last time I had just a full glass of milk was probably about a year and a half ago. I just had a full, I had to go get milk for my kids and I just put it in the fridge there and I was just looking at it and I was like, I'm going to drink some milk.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

This is the history hyenas. When was the last time you had milk? Dude, the last time I had just a full glass of milk was probably about a year and a half ago. I just had a full, I had to go get milk for my kids and I just put it in the fridge there and I was just looking at it and I was like, I'm going to drink some milk.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And then I drank just a full, like a full glass like that of milk, woke up about three hours later, explosive diarrhea. Yeah. I mean, ripping it off the backboard of the toilet, like a diarrhea, like a cartoon, you know? And I'm not lactose intolerant, but I think my body was just like, you can't just give me all this milk at once.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And then I drank just a full, like a full glass like that of milk, woke up about three hours later, explosive diarrhea. Yeah. I mean, ripping it off the backboard of the toilet, like a diarrhea, like a cartoon, you know? And I'm not lactose intolerant, but I think my body was just like, you can't just give me all this milk at once.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

And then I drank just a full, like a full glass like that of milk, woke up about three hours later, explosive diarrhea. Yeah. I mean, ripping it off the backboard of the toilet, like a diarrhea, like a cartoon, you know? And I'm not lactose intolerant, but I think my body was just like, you can't just give me all this milk at once.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

But I did hear, though, that theβ€”ready for this? They said two reasons why colon cancer is going up in youth. One, increased alcohol consumption. Sorry, Bert.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

But I did hear, though, that theβ€”ready for this? They said two reasons why colon cancer is going up in youth. One, increased alcohol consumption. Sorry, Bert.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

But I did hear, though, that theβ€”ready for this? They said two reasons why colon cancer is going up in youth. One, increased alcohol consumption. Sorry, Bert.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Please, thank you. Colonoscopy's great. And did you wake up and you weren't hard? No. Me either, dude. Fucking our dads were wrong.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Please, thank you. Colonoscopy's great. And did you wake up and you weren't hard? No. Me either, dude. Fucking our dads were wrong.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Please, thank you. Colonoscopy's great. And did you wake up and you weren't hard? No. Me either, dude. Fucking our dads were wrong.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, I've gotten two. Why, you have colon cancer in your family? No, well, here's what happened is, well, I'm 40, so they say start getting at 40, so I got cleaned. I was 51. 51, but I got cleaned. This last one I did, I didn't even do the propofol. I just said, just shoot her up there.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, I've gotten two. Why, you have colon cancer in your family? No, well, here's what happened is, well, I'm 40, so they say start getting at 40, so I got cleaned. I was 51. 51, but I got cleaned. This last one I did, I didn't even do the propofol. I just said, just shoot her up there.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, I've gotten two. Why, you have colon cancer in your family? No, well, here's what happened is, well, I'm 40, so they say start getting at 40, so I got cleaned. I was 51. 51, but I got cleaned. This last one I did, I didn't even do the propofol. I just said, just shoot her up there.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went old school. Wilderness. But when I was 35, they gave me one because what happened was I was having an anxiety attack and I took a shit that I felt looked questionable. I felt that I took a questionable shit. And so I took a peek because my mom, since I've been a little kid, she's told me two things and two things only, like on a daily basis. Don't do drugs. Big.

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Chrissy Crypto Explains Bitcoin w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went old school. Wilderness. But when I was 35, they gave me one because what happened was I was having an anxiety attack and I took a shit that I felt looked questionable. I felt that I took a questionable shit. And so I took a peek because my mom, since I've been a little kid, she's told me two things and two things only, like on a daily basis. Don't do drugs. Big.