Chris Voss

What's mirroring?

Yeah, it feels maybe awkward, but it's true.

There's got to be ways to signal that you're truly listening.

That's part of it.

I think you can do body language.

You can, yeah, there's a lot of ways to signal that.

But mirroring is probably just this trivial little hack.

You know, there's a situation, I had a conversation with Stephen Kotkin, he's this historian, and he would say my name a lot throughout the conversation.

He would be like, well, you have to understand, Lex, is that, and for some reason that was making me feel really good.

I was like, he cares about me.

And I wonder if that key, if everyone has that key, that could be the name, just using people's name could be powerful.

will also use it do the same thing so you have to be you have to avoid using the things that people that are exploiters manipulators use because it's it might signal to others that this person is uh trying to trick me gotta be very conscious of it yeah

What's labeling that you mentioned, the thing you like?

Is that almost always good?

Could it be a source of frustration when a person is being angry and you kind of put a label on it, call out the elephant?

Is it possible that that will lead to escalation of that feeling versus a resolution?

And at the core of everything, you have a bunch of like, you know, almost like hacks.

Like techniques you can use, but at the core of it is empathy.

At the core of it is empathy, yeah.

That's the main thing.