Chris Voss

So because I resent you, it's going to interfere in our implementation.

Resentment is a toxin for relationships.

And so it's a poison that's going to continue to eat until I get you back.

until I feel we're even.

So I turn around and I do something in implementation and I sting you for 10, now you got reason to resent me.

And so splitting the difference is a recipe for a downward spiral in a relationship.

There's no way around it.

Because what you're saying is that human nature and the way that we're wired

Makes us believe that we lost out on something even though we gained half and the other person gained half.

You don't feel that.

There was a long time ago when I was teaching at Georgetown, I stumbled over this video where they were stopping people in the street and getting them to bet on money.

And the guy would say, okay, so first of all, I'm going to give you this $10.

The $10 is yours.

Now let's gamble it.

Now, the person that's playing with house money, they just got $10.

And every time they lost it, they were suckered in to gamble more and more and more and more because...

They felt like they had a loss.

It's just feeling like you had a loss.

And really the real key to empathy is in any given moment, my experience is probably vastly different than yours.

Empathy is comprehending what the other person is going through at the same time.