Chris Voss

And my experience could be so strongly positive or so strongly negative that I don't see what's going on with you.

It's one of the reasons why I teach people to stop using common ground to connect.

And the problem is when you share your common ground, something happened to you as a kid, something that happened to you in your business, you feel so strongly.

It feels great to share common ground.

I feel like you just hijacked my story.

I started to tell you, you know, when I was a kid and you know, I, I lost this game and you go like, yeah, the same thing happened to me.

And you go off on something that's not the same, even if it is exactly the same.

I'm sitting there going like, oh, you had to one-up me.

You had to come up with a better story.

And so in the exact same moment, one person feels phenomenal and the other person feels squashed.

So empathy is understanding what the other person is going through at the moment.

And when you split the difference, the other person is going through a negative experience.

But wouldn't that be vulnerability?

Wouldn't that be an opportunity to connect as humans to feel the same human experience?

But you have to understand what's going on with the other side.

If I share my story, I'm connecting with you.

You feel squashed.

So I'm actually going to, I'm all about you sharing your story.

I'm not going to jump in with my story.

there's certain key moments in everybody's life that I want to dig into.