Chris Voss

And by not sharing my story, I never interfere with you sharing yours with me.

So just bite your tongue.

Or just be fascinated, be curious.

Like, yeah.

Wow.

And, and actually listen, um,

The fun part about that is, this is going to sound crazy, I get people bonding to me all the time much more than I realize because I actually listen.

Nobody listened to them.

I'm talking to a friend of mine, Charlie, a few months back, and we get into a conversation just because I'm curious, and I dig in to him about his mom.

And I don't share a word about my mother.

And to me, it's a routine conversation, because I am genuinely curious about people.

Next morning, he walks up to me and he goes like, yeah, man, you know, I really, really, really enjoyed the conversation last night.

I mean, I feel so connected to you.

And I'm like, oh, wow, okay.

Oh, yeah, that's why, that's why.

Because the human connection takes place one way at a time.

When I was a hostage negotiator, there was always this ongoing conversation, if we're going to assault the stronghold, SWAT team, are we going to tell the negotiators?

Because clearly the negotiators have bonded with this guy, listened to the way he's talking to them.

This bad guy is clearly bonded to our hostage negotiators.

And hostage negotiators are always be like, what are you talking about?