Christian Howes

I like to also listen to podcasts that are, you know, read books and all that kind of thing, wherever I can learn emotional intelligence tools.

I think that there's such a strong impulse to react as opposed to respond consciously to all the things that are around us.

I think that based on the amount of even things that happened to me when I was young, but also from prison, I would be violent and unruly.

reactive yeah reactive and so that's really like that's one of the the biggest things that i'm that i'm conscious to is trying to um learn to respond from an intentional mindful place and uh yeah like i said earlier i think that this is one of the big problems we have as as men is that uh

is that combination of not having those tools to overcome those traumas and learn how to respond.

I'll let you start.

Probably it's harder for me to forgive myself than to forgive other people.

What allowed me to forgive myself?

I think.

To some degree, yeah.

And I think it's just a process that keeps ongoing.

And I think continuing to do the work of, you know, living intentionally, of

and putting myself doing good habits you know all the same habits that i was working on prison in in prison um and putting myself in service to people and in positive affirming relationships and maintaining that i think all that's helping me to forgive myself what about you shaka

What do I struggle with the most?

In regards to what?

wish you didn't have to hold on to or you wish you weren't still reliving or experiencing or yeah i think that um this one of these uh questions when i went to jail it was like code of what it is to be a man this kind of you know one of these big questions it always felt unresolvable to me um which is there's no answer yeah

well this this well it's like the dilemma of non-violence right like i think that's a very difficult um spot to to find the answer to for me um

Yeah, because like, you know, when I was in jail, I remember distinctly feeling like this is, you know, being between a rock and a hard place.

Because if somebody, you know, threatens you or disrespects you, then you either have to meet that, you have to escalate that with violence, or you have to retreat from it.

And either of those choices, both can have very profound consequences.