Christiana
speaker
1,364 appearances
23 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Christiana’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Because they have this huge geriatric population.
But people aren't having kids. But to both of your points... um, maybe because of the way I was raised. And so my husband's Dominican, so very immigrant family, very family focused. Dominicano. Dominicano. And I'm, I'm Nigerian and you, you know, you know what that means. We live in LA, which some people say is a vapid place or whatever, but there are good people there.
And we focus a lot on building our community. Like we take our friends' kids. Even when I was pregnant, I'll take a friend's kid and
people take our kids and one thing I will say in this postpartum period it being spending time with other people and being active in our trying to build that community it paid dividends in small ways there was a mum at OB school who sent me a text and she was like I've dropped something at your door It was a very sweet, big up lane. She dropped something at my door and I looked out.
She brought me just some tea. I had another friend, my friend Chris. She was just like, I'm in the neighborhood. And she bought food that you can heat up and stuff like that. And then Cora's godparents, Dara and Emi, they came by, just held the baby for a bit. So I think sometimes we complain about not having community, but are we trying to be good community and village members?
And I think that we're in this like me, me, me, selfish society, whether it's about your grind, your money, your holidays, whatever you're into. And we've actually forgot how to be village members and we don't. Then we're shocked we don't have a village. So for the last couple of years, I was doing that myself.
So I was just like, how can I be better to the people around me or just show up in the small ways that I can? And this is why I think this third time around, being in a country that's not my own, I felt more settled, more supportive, more checked in because I was always I've been more present for other people.
And I think that that's a hard thing to say to mothers or parents that like, how many people are you there for? Because you're like, well, I'm drowning. But I think if you have that mentality of like, what's the little thing I can do for you? You know, is there a parent in my child's class that I can be like, oh, I'll drop them home sometimes? Or what's the little thing you can do?
And that accumulates. And that's how you build a village.
Are you pitching me to have more kids?
Personal bonuses.
Mm-hmm.
It's so funny you say that about community. Right now, I'd say one of the most invaluable members of my community is my god sister, Emily. She moved in with us in January. And when I told just strangers that, oh, yeah, my god sister's going to move in with us, people are like, why would you want someone in their early 20s? That's so weird. I was like, yeah, she's coming out to LA. She's got a job.
I'm like, I love her to bits. I love her parents. Just let her come live with us. And it's so, now I see the benefits of like intergenerational households.
Because now Obi has someone to look to. Yes. Who's not as old as. Yes. Because he was like, what are you? You're not a grown up. Like he doesn't even know what this thing is. He was like, well, I am a grown up, but I'm a young grown up. So he has this thing to look to that he can play with. It's like a pressure relief valve. Right, right. I just have another sister in the house.
Do you know what I mean? And then she has like an older sister, an older brother to kind of look up to, to ask questions to. And it's changed the rhythm of all of our lives. Like she's up early in the morning because of the kids. I'm learning about Chapel Rowan and all these crazy people because of her. I'm like, what on earth is... No, but it's like, it's opening my mind. It's expanding my heart.
And it's just like, we have a bigger family. Now, there's some cultures where you would never let someone live with you.
That is not in your... But it's been one of the best things, I think, to happen to all of us.
And then when we had Lewis's parents there, we had like the grandparents, parents.
The rhythm where we're living now where someone's alone or you're having a 2.4 family with 2.5 kids. That is not how it's, we're actually all supposed to be communal and have multiple generations in the same space. And not having that is really bad for us.
Showing 861–880 of 1,364 · page 44 of 69
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