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Christopher Titus

đŸ‘€ Speaker
359 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

She found that her beloved son, Miho... She calls out to the sun. Yeah, had met with Trent. She doesn't know that yet. I know, but I'm setting the table. So the first Miho is when she comes through the front door because groceries in hand. Comes through the front door, groceries in hand, announcing she's home, ready to make a nice meal. So she comes through the front door.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Miho! Se on ensimmÀinen miho. Nyt hÀn alkaa katsoa ylös ja tuntee, ettÀ ilma on menossa, mutta ei ole ilmaisuutta. Miksi miho ei onnistu ilmaisuuteen? Se on edelleen pahaa. Rancherasin musiikin ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen ÀÀnen

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Sure, is he there? Is he in the house? Has he met with Valplay? Then the third Miho, now this is the POV, walks into Miho's bedroom. We just see the feet dangling, swinging, swinging. Drops the, and I don't know how you do this, but drops the groceries in slow motion. You see the eggs hit the ground in slow motion and lets out the final Miho. Miho!

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ja sitten myöhemmin oli toinen miho, joka oli lisÀnnyt, kun hÀn oli, hÀn oli, hÀn oli, hÀn oli, hÀn oli, hÀn oli

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

She's walking down the street. Oh, she's walking down the street, and wow, it's familiar. She sees something that reminds her of him, like someone is riding the same bicycle. Yeah, sees a familiar, hears a familiar song, sees someone that looks like him. The car drives by with the, yeah. With the familiar song playing. Brian will cook it up. Miho.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

KyllÀ, nÀmÀ ovat viisi mihoja. Se aloitti kolmesta mihoista, mutta lopulta se tuli viisista. NÀmÀ ovat viisi mihoista, kaveri, ja me saamme De La Penaa tÀnne puhumaan siitÀ, mitÀ hÀn tekee. Luulen, ettÀ se on animoitu show. Christopher Titus, hyviÀ ihmisiÀ. Christopher Titus odotetaan, ja me emme odottaa hÀntÀ enÀÀ. Chris Titus, seuraavaksi.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Yeah, Chris Titus in studio. The DVD box set. Get a real job, numbnuts. Also, by the way, includes all four stand-up specials over six hours of Titus. That is a lot of Titus. Now out exclusively at ChristopherTitus.com, website ChristopherTitus.com, podcast. Titus.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

On paljon... On kaksi versiota tÀstÀ. LÀhellÀ on se, ettÀ sinÀ vahvistat Sarah Palin. LÀhellÀ on se, ettÀ sinÀ olet rasistinen, homofobi, xenofobi, antipuolinen, hispanikki tai mitÀ tahansa.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

SinÀ olet komediainen ja yrittÀjÀt tekevÀt rauhoja. Olen sanonut tÀtÀ, ettÀ kun sinÀ ostat kaupungin rauhaa tai kun minÀ laitan klanin, niin olen komediainen. Muista, kun sinun piti saada rauhaa rasistisesta tai rassistisesta? Kuka sanoo, ettÀ minÀ olen rasi?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ja ajattelin, ettÀ se on suurin asia. Se kuulostaa myös Warren Zevon-albumiin. Mutta kun minÀ otin huomioon, ettÀ Arizona-ohjelma viime vuonna osoitti tÀmÀn todella selkeÀsti. Mutta edelleen pinheadit, erityisesti esiintyminen. TÀmÀ ei ole esiintyminen. TÀmÀ ei ole esiintyminen. TÀmÀ ei ole esiintyminen. TÀmÀ ei ole esiintyminen. TÀmÀ ei ole esiintyminen.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

MeillÀ oli suurin kasvu. MeillÀ oli maahanmuutoksen kasvu. MeillÀ oli parhaita työtÀ. MeillÀ oli rahoja. Ja nyt me olemme niin rikkoja, ettÀ maa meni vain tuolta, eikÀ kukaan tiedÀ. Olemme muuttaneet pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn. Ja minÀ olisin hyvÀ siitÀ, jos olisin uskonut, ettÀ ihmiset, jotka soittivat kappaleita, olivat itse asiassa tarkoittaneet sitÀ. Se tuntuu hyvin mahdollista. KyllÀ, juuri. Nyt soittan kappaleen sinulle.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

MinÀ olen mahdollinen. MinÀ tiedÀn, ettei kukaan ajattele, ettÀ Christopher Titus on mahdollinen asasin. TÀmÀ ei ole Day of the Jackal tÀÀllÀ. MitÀ huonoa kuvaa. MitÀ huonoa kuvaa myös. Kiitos. Ja nyt olen takaisin. Koneen. Koneen. Koneen. Koneen. Koneen. Koneen.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ei kukaan usko sitÀ, eikÀ kukaan usko, ettÀ minulla on mitÀÀn vÀliÀ filipinoihin tai transgeendereihin tai mitÀ tahansa jokaisen jokaisen tekeminen. Ja muuten, se ei ole niin, ettÀ Titus meni klubiin Sarah Palin jokaisella. SinÀ teit uudestaan. Joku kertoi sen. MitÀ tahansa. Kun minÀ teen minun asiaani, jota minulla on ongelmia, minÀ en oteta asiaa. Joku kertoo sen. Joten sinÀ reagoitit aivan oikein.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

But this thing of, well, they go, all right, well, okay, so Titus isn't going to get up on the grassy knoll with a, you know, pump action shotgun, but he may encourage other crazy people. Well, look, if you're going to do that, then all video games have to go away and all rated R movies have to go away. And any move, you know, Jackass, the movie and the television show must go away like a car.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

cartoons must go away because people are going to get hit with frying pans and drop anvils from the Acme company and strap rockets to their ass. I mean, come on. There's always a certain amount of crazy, and there's going to be a certain amount of people that go into Safeways and shoot at politicians, and a certain amount of people go into Columbine and shoot at people, and certain people go down to Hollywood and Vine and shoot at people. The idea that we're going to pin that to this...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

The dark person who doesn't want to hear chitty chitty bang bang. They want to hear something with a little sharper edge. So it's sort of you go chicken or the egg, but it's the chicken. The chicken wants to hear Slayer and then goes out on the shooting spree. It's not nothing. No one caused anything, anyone to ever do anything.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

No. He just have a huge listenership. Some of them are right wing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I have, I'll tell you what I have. I think I have a bunch of, of course you think they're sensible. No, I have sensible folks who listen to the show, who are sort of tired of the Occupy Wall Street people and tired. I think the people that listen to the show are very, you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. You get to work.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

You take and for some reason that's become a right wing cause. They get to work. I don't understand why. I thought it was just an American cause. That's sort of, you know, you have five jobs. I have five jobs. Everyone I know has three and a half jobs. And there are people out there with no jobs. And I'm tired of paying for them. Right. Not the retarded ones. The ones that have decided. You're okay with paying for the retarded ones.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Yeah, for four months. Then they shake it, you know, run it off. You know what I mean? Rub some dirt on it. Let's get going. Rub some dirt on it. The point is, no, I think I've said many times, we understand there's a segment of society that needs our help. And I think we all make a sort of, we all have an agreement with,

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

When you enter the society, that there's a certain amount of group of people that do need our help, and then there's a certain amount that are just sort of rolling in their own shit, and they need to get up and get fucking busy. Look, if you've got unemployment for two and a half years...