Christopher Titus
đ€ SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Nyt kerron sinulle, miten radardetektori toimii. Onko sinulla koskaan ollut?
KyllÀ. Suurin piirtein ne jatkuvat ylöspÀin ylöspÀin ja muistavat sinua, ettei se onnistu. Ne jatkuvat ylöspÀin. KyllÀ, se on tÀllainen. TÀssÀ on, miten radardetektori toimii. Ne eivÀt oikeastaan toimia. Se on kuin kun otit ylöspÀin ylöspÀin, laitit bateriaa ja se oli rauhassa. SiinÀ oli yli 45 sekunnia, kun se jatkui ylöspÀin. Ja sinÀ ajattelet, ettÀ pitÀisi rauhoittaa.
Because you'd never get a ticket if somebody just sat in your seat and went, hey, slow down, hey, slow down, hey, slow down. That's really what they are. They're a hey, slow down box that gets set off by like CB radios and shit. You know what you need?
Se on se. Sitten vÀhentÀisit ja siellÀ ei ole mitÀÀn. Oletkaan minun isÀsi, joka tekee sitÀ asiaa, ettÀ ennen kuin teet mitÀÀn, hÀn rikkii itseÀnsÀ ja laittaa kohti kotiin ja kotiin. Minun isÀni tekee sitÀ kohti kotiin. HÀn alkaa laittaa kotiin. Kristi's mom does that too. What is that? Who flings themselves at the dashboard? That's exactly what happens. It's an old person thing.
Se liittyy siihen, ettÀ jos he kÀyvÀt, he laittavat armeen paikalleen, jotta he pysyvÀt takaisin. Niin he tekevÀt sen. Ja muuten vanhempi minun vanhempi hÀn voisi pysyÀ jokaisen. Kaikki, mitÀ he tekevÀt, on pysyÀ tekevÀnsÀ. Toinen asia, josta joku kertoi minulle liikkuja. Voimme katsoa tÀtÀ kertaa. En tiedÀ, onko sinulla jotain tÀllaista, Allison?
I'm going to give some love to one of our fantabulous... You guys can look about the leaf blower. By the way, I think it was Edmunds.
They tested the emissions, just the emissions. Now I've talked about those fucking leaf blowers because they don't have any way, you know, they don't have catalytic converters on them. They're just open exhaust. They took the emissions of a Ford Raptor. It was a 6.2 liter V8, a big V8 Ford truck engine, a souped up Ford truck engine. The Ford Raptor will show a picture of the Raptor when they find that versus a fucking leaf blower.
Katsokaa, mikÀ laittoi lisÀÀ emissioita. Joku kertoo minulle, ettÀ se on vihreÀ. Ja se on vain emissioita. MinÀ puhun aina tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi tosi
It's again, it's one of these things that I can't figure out. We go apeshit over smoke. We go apeshit over secondhand smoke. We go fucking berserk. A guy smoking a goddamn Marlboro ultralight on the fucking beach will get tackled and arrested. But the fucking leaf blower guys are just fucking pluming shit out there. Nothing.
No one can say a thing. I think it's because it's racist. I don't get it. I don't get the fucking problem where everyone does it. You know it's going to cost more. It's good. The fucking car has 10 airbags. We pay for every one of them. There is no version of that car with no airbags. There is no version of that car with no crumple zones. There is no version of that car with no catalytic converter. You put it on and you pass it on.
NÀmÀ elÀkehitykset eivÀt laittaa emissioita. NÀmÀ laittavat emissioita, jotka ovat suurimpia tai suurempia kuin tÀysin suurta Ford-trukkia, joilla on V8. Se on jokainen. Ja se ei ole edes ongelma. Ongelma on aineen osaaminen, ettÀ ne laittavat aineen. Se on minun ongelmani.
You know what? I bet a lot of it is phlegm, too. Because you know how people are always coughing up phlegm on the street? Then it's getting blown in the air. Dried phlegm, rat fecal matter, just your general dust and pollen and shit like that. Rat phlegm. Rat phlegm. And then... Sounds like a name like if Howard Stern really hated his program director. And...
Ja semmoista, joka tulee vain autossa, kuten vulkanisoitavaa rupaa ja muuta. Vain paita ja piiriÀ. Ja semmoista, joka kÀÀntyy ja kÀÀntyy ja kaikki semmoista. MikÀ tahansa on maata. MikÀ tahansa syy, miksi sinÀ ei halua, ettÀ lapsesi kÀy ylöspÀin. Tai kÀÀntÀÀ maata. Tai kÀÀntÀÀ maata. Tai kÀÀntÀÀ kÀÀntöjÀ. KÀÀntöjÀ ja kÀÀntöjÀ. SinÀ olit kÀÀntÀnyt kaikki tÀmÀn asian. YlöspÀin. Perjantai kÀÀntÀÀ kÀÀntöjÀ. Ei ongelmaa liikkuvauhtien kanssa. MikÀ vain nÀyttÀÀ, ettÀ me emme oikein anna mitÀÀn. Tai me olemme liikkuvauhtia, ettÀ tiedÀmme ratkaisua.
Ja sitten on kolme kÀrsiÀ. Se, mikÀ tulee... Se, mikÀ vaikuttaa tÀmÀn kommentaattorin kÀrsiin. Se, mikÀ tulee kÀrsiin. Se, mikÀ kÀÀntyy maahan. Ja se, mikÀ on ÀÀneen. Se, mikÀ on paljon tÀrkeÀmpÀÀ, mitÀ ihmiset ajattelevat. MitÀ viimeistÀ kertaa sinulla oli, kun olit napsaamassa tai puhunut keskustelua? 1983.
You don't notice it until you do a whole bunch of interviews on a phone. I'll just do a bunch of interviews and I'll hear that fucking thing fire up and have to walk into the bathroom and shut the door and put the towel over my head and shit like that. All right, let's do something about this. But will we do something about it? No. What can we do? Outlaw them like you do lawn darts. No, but I mean someone listening right now who's like, yes, fuck. Are lawn darts outlawed? Yes.
Kaikki on ystÀvÀ, jolla on ystÀvÀ, jolla on ystÀvÀ, jota minÀ olin ottanut. He kÀyttÀivÀt niitÀ aina ympÀri meistÀ. Minun kaverini kutsui poliitikkoja. HÀn oli tÀÀllÀ rauhoittamassa tÀnÀÀn. HÀn on ollut rauhoittamassa viime viikkoja. MinÀ ajattelin, ettÀ hÀn tarkoittaa london. MinÀkin. MinÀkin.
That's right, Brogan. What they should do is they should take some of the cops that are hanging around the grapevine writing out chicken shit tickets and steer them toward the scourge. They should blow them with leaf blowers towards the scourge. That's right. All right, go to meeting.
You get your news prepped. Holiday weather, it is upon us. Blustery out there. Like I said, man, Denver snow, a falling ice, frozen. Oh man, I was walking to a club, it's all icy in the alley, and I was doing that weird walk, that weird linebacker walk, where you're trying to walk on every square millimeter of your foot. Just feet are out wide. I didn't want to eat shit before I went to the club. They shut the gap.
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