Christopher Titus
đ€ SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
And we got about a six hour drive. Now we're going to be on the grapevine. And it's going to be Saturday night at 11 o'clock at night. And the fucking place is going to be empty. This car has massive brakes. And all the safety and innovation from the xenon headlights to the 12 airbags in it to the crumple zones. But just the speed rated tires and the speed sensitive steering.
Like it'd be an insult to the car to go the speed limit. 65 in this car does not feel like anything. I mean, I've said it a million times. When you're in a Learjet and you're going 550 miles an hour, you're standing around eating finger food and fingering up, I mean, and drinking a cocktail, and it's nothing. It's nothing. You're going 550, it's nothing. When you're in a shopping cart and you're going 11 miles an hour, you're...
SinÀ olet yksi heikkoja. Kun olet vanhempani VW Squareback, kun olet 55-vuotias, sinÀ olet vihreÀmpÀnÀ. Se on mitÀÀn 65-vuotiaan. MinÀ menen kotiin Grapevineen, ja Grapevine rauhoittaa polttoaineita. He tekevÀt uuden asian, jossa he saavat radarin, kun he tulevat sinuun. Silloin et nÀe heitÀ takana.
Kiitos kun katsoit videon!
They do my favorite move, which is they go across the median, and then they burn out a little and get a little bit squirrely coming out of it and kick some gravel and shit onto the highway. And then they floor it, and they catch up to you, and then they explain to you why what you were doing was dangerous. Yeah.
That's what I love. So I need a fucking radar detector because I cannot take this Autobahn cruiser that's safe at 110 past 65 or 70 or I'm going to get a chicken shit ticket. And by the goddamn way, I could shave two fucking hours off this night's commute. Two fucking hours if I could lay my foot into it. Now the car's safe at 155 miles an hour.
I'm only asking to go 90. I'll still shave two fucking hours. And by the way, I just got done doing a show and paying a shitload in taxes. Filled up, used the gas.
drove through the Mickey D's. We're spending a lot of money here. Can we get a fucking pass? At Mickey D's. You don't go with Mike Goggins. He's a McNugget hound. The nice Mickey D's. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. In the mall. I'm just saying, can I make this point? If the posted speed limit is 65 miles an hour, but you're in a fog bank...
and you're going 65 miles an hour, you will get a ticket for driving at an unsafe rate of speed. Sure, it could be 65, but it's pouring outside, and it's foggy, and you're going 65, and that's unsafe. How about I use your same argument against you, which is there's nobody on the highway, it's a clear night, and I'm driving a fucking...
piece of precision German pussy. How about I go 90? Oh, they're always open to that. So we're gonna have to fucking crawl home because we take all our fucking tax dollars and dump them into fucking buying new cruisers and new pussies with fucking radar detectors with an antiquated speed limit. A lot of cars and people are pussies in this scenario. Yes. Even the German one. This car...
is so packed with technology. It'd really be like if somebody said, hey, we have to set a speed limit for biplanes. And then you go, well, I got a jet. And they went, I don't care. That's what the speed limit is.
The same one that Charlie Brown and the Red Baron were flying around in. The Sopwith Camel. Yeah, that's the same speed. Yeah, canvas or aluminum, doesn't matter to us. Radial engine or GE turbine engine, don't matter to us. Professional driver or someone who just got their license. Yes, speed it up and it should all just basically be on a curve. It's not how fast you're going, how safe is the travel. You can get...
You can be under the speed limit but be texting. Well, why do you get a ticket? Well, it's unsafe. You're distracted. So I'm at ten and two. I only have three and a half Miller Lights in me from the show. And I'm driving a German car. So now I have to get a fucking radar detector and see if I can thwart this fucking scourge. Why does a German pussy not come with a radar detector?
En ole varma, onko se legaalia. Ne eivÀt ole legaaleja kaikissa valtioissa, en usko. Ja niille, jotka ovat... He ovat elÀimiÀ Kaliforniassa. Joo, no vittu sinulle, Schwarzenegger, koska jos te olette tullut ulos, sinun radarsit. TÀmÀ on periaatteessa kulttuurin tapaaminen tasapainossa. HyvÀÀ asiaa. HyvÀÀ asiaa. MikÀ on kompressio-ratio?
MikÀ on kompressiivinen ratio? TÀmÀ on 12,5-1. Kuinka paljon kompressiivinen ratio on tehty silun sisÀllÀ, kun pistoni tekee ristiriitaa? LisÀksi kompressiivinen ratio on yleensÀ suurempi kohdallisuus, jonka moottori tuottaa. TurbojÀrjestÀjÀt ja superjÀrjestÀjÀt vÀhentÀvÀt ratioa hieman, koska he jÀttÀvÀt lisÀÀ.
In terms of boost into the cylinder. And it used to be that 12.5 to 1 would be too high and it would ping. You'd get premature detonation. But you don't get that anymore because they've worked out the mapping on the computer. And they retard the timing and advance the timing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But this car hauls ass. And I would love to haul ass. And again, leaving at 11, there's a big difference to me whether you get home at 3 a.m. or 5.30. Yes.
Kiitos kun katsoit videon!
They're 300 and something bucks and they hide behind that fucking bullshit excuse of, hey man, we have to make it high to prevent people from doing this. Well, you're writing out tickets as fast as you can fucking write. It's not preventing shit. You're just raping the people that
that pay your fucking salaries. There should be a goddamn uprising against this. I mean, anyone who gets a fucking ticket on that grapevine who wasn't doing anything unsafe should fight that shit. As a matter of fact, everyone who gets a fucking ticket should just fight it, just fucking clog the system. Same thing they did with the cameras in the intersections. Everyone went, fuck it, we're not paying it, nobody paid it. Fucking poor Mexicans in this town, they can't afford that $480 ticket for going through an intersection. So everyone went, fuck it, the whole system shut down.
That's what we should do. You see, they fucking got you by the balls here. When they pull this shit for companies, you see, when they try to rape Nissan, Nissan just moves to Nashville and goes, fuck you, California. And when they try to rape all the other companies that just flee to, you know, Phoenix or flee to New Mexico or flee to another state that's more friendly, they just pick up and leave. But they know you can't pick up and leave. You're on their fucking road. So they just rape the people that are left behind.