Ciarán O'Driscoll

I was at a removal.

Again, there was another guy.

He ended his life.

I went to removal.

It was a cold, frosty night.

And I was walking along the road.

And a car pulled in.

And they said, would you like to come back to the clubhouse?

There was friends and family going back to the clubhouse.

And I jumped into the car.

I was a people pleaser as well, like, you know.

Probably wanted people to like me and stuff, like, you know.

Because I hated myself, like, you know.

I hated what I'd become.

You know, I hopped into the car and I went into the...

clubhouse you know the j clubs now they're full big hall massive hall full and um i wasn't after drinking for a couple of weeks and i wouldn't recommend anyone i was hiding i was isolating in the room and stuff like you know um and i the girl behind the bar knew me i was very very quiet as i said at the start i was super shy girl behind the bar knew me and she kind of looked up over the crowd and said are you all right and uh i drank a bottle of cider

got again i built up the courage to go back up the second time i was sitting on a stool like petrified again like you know built up courage got we got the second bottle drank half of it and then again i watched the door i said i have to make my escape i have to get over here i drank half that bottle and then i walked out i am i left that

I was never in there, I don't think.

I was in there as a kid, as a young fella, going to discos in the big hall.

Going to discos.