Claire Wasserman
speaker
537 appearances
5 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Claire Wasserman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So instead of taking that next small action to address your financial anxiety, just carve out a little bit of time and space in your week so that you can now sit down with your money.
And the last question to ask yourself here around feeling helpless is how can I make it easier to remove that obstacle? That's actually my through line in everything that I do with my coaching and my coaching programs. It's all about how can we just make life more easeful for ourselves? It's not about hustle or working harder. It's all about working smarter. And to me, that means working easier.
Now let's talk about the final two core fears, feeling unloved. And on the flip side of that is feeling unworthy, right? So if you're feeling unloved, how do I need to feel loved, right? And this kind of gets into like those love languages. Have you heard of those, right? Love languages. How do I need to feel loved?
So one way to figure this out for yourself is just thinking about how do I know when I'm loved? And hopefully you've had some experiences in the past. Like, for example, I remember my wife and I, This was only recently. She gave me a hug and it was such a good hug. And I realized I'd never really let myself feel a hug in my 38 years, which is really kind of sad.
You might've had a moment like that in the past. That's important. So maybe physical touch or, you know, again, starting with how do I know when I'm loved? And then the next part of that question is how can I give love that is not money related? Because if the core fear is, with your money is I am not loved. That's all about you, right? How can I receive? You're taking. We've got to give to get.
You've got to pay it forward. You've got to invest to get those dividends, right? That's a bit corny. But point being, sometimes to receive, I find in my life, you've got to be what you want. So if you're searching for a mentor, you can't find one. I'd like you to flip that around and ask yourself, how can I be a mentor? et cetera, et cetera, right?
So the same thing, if I'm not feeling loved, how can I give love? Just make sure there's no spending money related, all right? And then the other side of this, of course, is feeling unworthy, right? Just ask yourself, well, what problems do I enjoy solving? How can I do more of that? What do I need to feel my impact? And then what can I do to feel more of that?
So I highly encourage you to pull back the curtain of whatever is on the surface, this financial anxiety, right? The trigger of somebody unsubscribes from my newsletter. I'm not making enough money. I'm feeling freaked out. What do I actually feel afraid of here? And if I could reduce it to unloved, unworthy, and helpless, Let's make a plan around that.
Now, I'm going to go just one step further into addressing core fears, and this is really ongoing work. So do take time and space to do this. And I always encourage people, you know, listen to me, get my book, but hey, also get a therapist, all right? I'm going to walk you through an exercise first and then apply it with my own example so you can really see it come to life.
And I highly encourage you to get a pen and paper and do the same. All right, so we're going to start with whatever money anxiety you are feeling the most in your life right now, okay? And I want you to ask yourself, why is that important? Now, the way that you respond, okay, you're going to write this down in the following order.
You're going to say, this is important to me because... Now, whatever the answer is that you come up with, you're going to repeat it using the following framework. Taking that answer, however you responded, is important to me because... Now, whatever the answer that you have for that, you're going to repeat it again in the same framework.
So your answer is important to me because... And you're going to repeat this usually about three to four times. I think you'll notice that when you do this exercise, there will become a point where you... are just going in circles, that means you're done. You got to the end.
And for anyone curious or feeling like this exercise sounds familiar, that's because I was inspired by the downward arrow technique in cognitive behavioral therapy. And I have found that this works really, really well for all kinds of anxieties, but specifically financial anxieties. Now here's the end of the exercise and the most important part.
Whatever you get to in your final answer, so again, remember, it might take like four or five times to get here, you are going to take the response to the last one that you came up with, that last answer, and you're going to fill in the blank of this sentence. What I really want is...
After that, you're going to brainstorm things that you can do to cultivate, achieve, integrate more of this into your life, or maybe just reflect and say, hey, do I already have this in my life? Am I already doing this? And if so, maybe I should celebrate that. Let me give you my example, and hopefully it all comes together for you.
So for me, I'm stressed out right now about not providing enough for my family. And that really does keep me up at night. It's important to me to provide for my family so that my kids are never restricted in what they can do so that they can have a good quality of life. It is important to me that my kids have a good quality of life so that they have as many options as possible.
It's important to me that my kids have as many options as possible so that they can create the life they want. It's important to me that my kids create the life that they want so that they can feel free. What I really want is my kids to feel free. Which, by the way, I did a little bit more brainstorming, like what does it actually mean to feel free? So feel free to be whoever they want to be.
Feel free to do whatever they want to do. And this is the action part. This is the one that's going to move you from feeling helpless to hopeful. Here are ways that I can help my kids feel free. Things like...
you know, encouraging them to follow whatever passion or pursuit they're interested in, you know, not passing judgment either on them or on myself or somebody else because I want to set a good example. What I love about this exercise is that you really get to the core value that is buried deep inside. Your fear is covering up.
You're having a hard time seeing the value because that fear is like smoke thrown in your face. When we can get to the core value, we can create a plan to cultivate it and realize it may not require any money at all. You may find that the solution to your money anxiety doesn't require money.
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